The Watchmaker Theory

[Verse]
Where did the time go?
Back in the days I didn't want to admit I was like the other white folks
I'd be in the burbs and see a cop car drive slow and I'd yell out "Duck, motherfuckers, there go 5-0!" Whoo!
Dressing like a thug in the mall and shit
Me and Emily just called it quits
She was a young fire crotch alcoholic chick
If I remember correctly I think her dad was into politics
After school we'd go to Popeye's chicken
I would get a 3 piece combo with some red beans and rice on the side and an extra side of mac and cheese
One extra biscuit and 2 honey packets please
Where did the time go?
When I was 6 years old my uncle Darryl had a nice boat
Every independence day took us to the lake or the Ozarks so we could watch the fireworks and light show
Around this time my parents decided that they wanted to go and terminate their marriage
We lived in Raytown, Missouri in a yellow house with the tire-swing up in the front yard down on 67 terrace
My mom planted radishes and carrots, cabbages and hairless
Marijuana plants until my next door neighbor went and ratted to the sheriff
My whole entire family had to hide up in the Radisson embarrassed
My mother was a really pretty lady, my father was a salesman in a used '83 'cedes
They'd argue a lot, she'd scream, he'd call her crazy
He'd disappear and not come back until day three
They seemed so old then, but they were in their thirties
They were in their thirties
My wife and I feel old, but we in our thirties
Listen, life ain't fair and it's weird
Everyday I pluck a gray hair from my beard
All the kids that used to be popular in school got fat, OD'd or they straight disappeared
Oh shit! where did the time go?
Back in the days I would speak to my parents with an eye roll
Got a blowjob from Angeline with my eyes closed
Felt guilty, went home and tried to read the Bible
Fell asleep 3 pages in, woke up and felt time slow like God is angry at me now he gonna end my life no
Where did the time go?
My best friend just got divorced, where'd his wife go?
Out to dinner with another guy bro
I knew for sure he'd shoot her with a rifle
Until I found out as it turns out that he has ED
And making love to his wife just hasn't been easy
He tried to make excuses trying to say that he was sleepy
And she just wanted a love life in 3D and I can't blame her for it
And I can't paint the portrait, that she's vain and morbid - cause she's not
This is why we need to fucking legalize ...
'Cause every single grown adult that I've met
Gets a broken heart when they wonder where the time went
All you do is get gray hair then you die slow
Lay in your casket and wonder: "Where'd the time go?"
Uh, you felt so young then, then you're in your thirties
Right now you're seventeen, blink a couple times and you're gonna be seventy
Where did the time go?
I don't know bitch
Hurry up and die slow
Hurry up and buy, ho
Everything is everything and everything is on sale
Except a perfect plan that is guaranteed to not fail
You want a guarantee? See, you go to college four years
Read some books but drank more beer
Somebody lied to you when they told you that all you gotta do is go to college and the day after you graduate you'll make $150,000
Go to happy hour, get a nice Martini with an olive and
And a brand new Porsche with the candy paint polish
You want a mansion with a pool? You can have all this!
All you gotta do is go to class a couple times
You don't gotta worry about the time
You don't gotta worry about the $89,999 that you're gonna be in debt
Pay your student loan down let us see you sweat
You want a job? Well this company don't need you yet
Started at the bottom and you'll stay, at the fucking bottom till your heart is in decay
You at the fucking bottom till your hair is turning gray
So you try to numb the pain, getting married turn away
Maybe you will get it if I whisper this:
You gotta start your own business
Start your own business
Start your own business
Follow your dreams you little bitches

[Outro]
Hi, can you come here Eric?
I know you've worked for this company for 37 years
And you treat it like a career
Unfortunately, the way corporations work is
We don't give a fuck about you and have no emotional connection to anything other than our profit
So, you're fired!