The Three Army-Surgeons

Three army surgeons who thought they knew their art perfectly
were traveling about the world, and they came to an inn where
they wanted to pass the night. The host asked whence they came,
and whither they were going. We are roaming about the world and
practising our art. Show me just once what you can do, said
the host. Then the first said he would cut off his hand, and put
it on again early next morning. The second said he would tear
out his heart, and replace it next morning. The third said he would
gouge out his eyes and heal them again next morning. If you can
do that, said the innkeeper, you have learnt everything. They,
however, had a salve, with which they rubbed themselves, which
joined parts together, and they constantly carried with them the
little bottle in which it was. Then they cut the hand, heart
and eyes from their bodies as they had said they would, and laid
them all together on a plate, and gave it to the innkeeper.
The innkeeper gave it to a servant-girl who was to set it in the
cupboard, and take good care of it. Secretly, however, the girl
had a lover, who was a soldier. When therefore the innkeeper,
the three army surgeons, and everyone else in the house were asleep,
the soldier came and wanted something to eat. The girl opened
the cupboard and brought him some food, and in her love forgot
to shut the cupboard-door again. She seated herself at the table
by her lover, and they chatted away together. While she sat so
contentedly there, thinking of no ill luck, the cat came creeping
in, found the cupboard open, took the hand and heart and eyes of
the three army surgeons, and ran off with them. When the soldier
had done eating, and the girl was taking away the things and
going to shut the cupboard, she saw that the plate which the
innkeeper had given her to take care of, was empty. Then she
said in a fright to her lover, ah, miserable girl, what shall I
do. The hand is gone, the heart and the eyes are gone too, what
will become of me in the morning. Be easy, said he, I will
help you out of your trouble. There is a thief hanging outside
on the gallows, I will cut off his hand. Which hand was it.
The right one. Then the girl gave him a sharp knife, and he went
and cut the poor sinner's right hand off, and brought it to her.
After this he caught the cat and gouged its eyes out, and now
nothing but the heart was missing. Have you not been slaughtering,
and are not the dead pigs in the cellar, said he. Yes, said the
girl. That's fine, said the soldier, and he went down and fetched
a pig's heart. The girl placed all together on the plate, and
put it in the cupboard, and when after this her lover took leave
of her, she went quietly to bed.
In the morning when the three army surgeons got up, they told
the girl she was to bring them the plate on which the
hand, heart, and eyes were lying. Then she brought it out of
the cupboard, and the first fixed the thief's hand on and smeared
it with his salve, and it promptly grew to his arm. The second
took the cat's eyes and put them in his own head. The third
fixed the pig's heart firm in the place where his own had been,
and the innkeeper stood by, admired their skill, and said he
had never yet seen such a thing as
that done, and would sing their praises and recommend them to
everyone. Then they paid their bill, and traveled further.
As they were on their way, the one with the pig's heart did not
stay with them at all, but wherever there was a corner he ran
to it, and rooted about in it with his nose as pigs do. The
others wanted to hold him back by the tail of his coat, but that
did no good. He tore himself loose, and ran wherever the dirt was
deepest. The second also behaved very strangely. He rubbed
his eyes, and said to the others, comrades, what has happened.
These are not my eyes. I don't see at all. Will one of you lead
me, so that I do not fall. Then with difficulty they traveled on
till evening, when they reached another inn. They went into the
bar together, and there at a table in the corner sat a rich man
counting money. The one with the thief's hand walked round
about him, made a few jerky movements with his arm, and at
last when the stranger turned away, snatched at the pile of money,
and took a handful from it. One of them saw this, and
said, comrade, what are you about. You must not steal, shame
on you. Eh, said he, but what can I do. My hand twitches, and
I am forced to snatch things whether I will or not.
After this, they lay down to sleep, and while they were lying
there it was so dark that no one could see his own hand. All
at once the one with the cat's eyes awoke, aroused the others,
and said, brothers, just look up, do you see the white mice
running about there. The two sat up, but could see nothing. Then
said he, things are not right with us, we have not got back
again what is ours. We must return to the innkeeper, he has
deceived us. So they went back the next morning, and told the
host they had not received what was their own, that the first
had a thief's hand, the second cat's eyes, and the third a
pig's heart. The innkeeper said that the girl must be to blame
for that, and was going to call her, but when she had seen the
three coming, she had run out by the backdoor, and not come back.
Then the three said he must give them a great deal of money, or
they would set the red cock on his roof. - The symbol of a red
cock for fire is of remote antiquity. - He gave them what he
had, and whatever he could raise, and the three went away
with it. It was enough for the rest of their lives, but they
would rather have had their own rightful organs.