The Sugary Cake and Candy Man

[Spoken: Matt McGinn]
Talking about generous businessmen, there used to be a very generous businessman who had a grocery van. As he was going around he used to sing a wee song which went:

[Chorus]
I'm the sugary cake and candy man
I have a beautiful grocery van
The ladies stand and wait
(Where?)
Down at the Pollock estate
For the sugary cake and candy man

[Verse One]
Now if your man becomes redundant
You can still have things abundant
When he's signing on the dole
You're sure of a wee swiss roll
From the sugary cake and candy man

[Chorus]
I'm the sugary cake and candy man
I have a beautiful grocery van
The ladies stand and wait
(Where?)
Down at the Pollock estate
For the sugary cake and candy man

[Verse Two]
Now I call all the ladies "honey"
I very seldom ask for money
I'm a generous man you'll find
When you're getting a bit behind
With the sugary cake and candy man

[Chorus]
I'm the sugary cake and candy man
I have a beautiful grocery van
The ladies stand and wait
(Where?)
Down at the Pollock estate
For the sugary cake and candy man

[Verse Three]
When Pollock picks their next MP
There's nobody stands a chance against me
I'm assured of all their votes
I'm the man that supplies their oats
The sugary cake and candy man

[Chorus]
I'm the sugary cake and candy man
I have a beautiful grocery van
The ladies stand and wait
(Where?)
Down at the Pollock estate
For the sugary cake and candy man

[Outro]
Don't tell your man
You've been in my van
I'm the sugary cake and candy man