The Saurus vs. Laugh N Stalk

[Round 1: Laugh N Stalk]
So I typically write rhymes to get the crowd excited
But up here? No reaction, just the sound of silence
But that's fine by me
I don't need a loud environment
And if you lose, you can say that the...CLOUD was biased!
Shout out to Mad Illz!
The cloud was "by us", that's wordplay, I'm really good
Shout out to Mad Illz! May God rest his soul
And I just honestly hope that your content is dope
If you think my head's in the clouds, well, you're just lost in the smoke
'Cause those gassed-up rounds won't keep this contest afloat!
People might watch this and think the concept's a joke
Sky's the limit, I admit, it's nonsense for sho'
The fans might think you falling off, but I will not let you go
'Cause if you did fall off...everything you'd land on is TOAST!
I'm a cold rhymer
Coal miner: all my prospects are gold
Spray the can if you're bugging: this is not pest control
Shoot up your apartment until your complex is ghost
And I won't talk about your face
I think your complexion's dope
If you think this battle is gonna be easy, just don't
There's a difference between comedically dope and just being a joke
To say you're giving a shot to me is a hoax
I'll put this can to your mouth: I'm just feeding the G.O.A.T!
Besides, this is your first battle ever with guaranteed high views!
I'll take an L when pigs fly...apparently, I lose!
I hope to God I never become a parody like you
Cause everything about you has aged terribly...times two!
President Trump once said he uses "the BEST words"
Yet, I'm the one who convinced you to come get worked
If you think that's a mistake, well, it just gets worse
'Cause that was Round 1, and...I just left Earth!

[Round 1: The Saurus]
First off, I gotta thank Jeff Foxworthy for
Taking a day off from the Blue Collar Comedy Tour
But I bet Mad Illz is pissed off
'Cause he could never get this idea to lift off
And he sold Grind Time for half the price of what three tickets for this cost!
After ELEVEN years, the best concept in battling is finally put to use
Because any excuse to troll Mad Illz is a good excuse!
But look at you! Life came full circle, the footage looped
Straight up, rook, it's not your night
You'll catch an L making crooked moves
That's two to his chest piece
Student against teach'
To beat junkies got nothing to do with the techniques
I set records, it used to be what I do to make ends meet
Then I made moves, while life made you move where the meth's cheap!
But who would've guessed that we'd balloon beyond the limits?
I'll break you down over these three rounds: that's Newton's Laws of Physics
I met your girl, the bitch blew: she went Veruca Salt with it
Weekly Battle Feed was cancelled 'cause they put too much Stalk in it!
You're all gimmicks, I'm authentic: it's common sense
Is he dope? Wilson from Home Improvement: I'm on the fence
You were a body double for Goose on the Top Gun set
When you asked me to smuggle you a balloon of heroin, this is not what I thought you meant!
Go 'head

[Round 2: Laugh N Stalk]
Remember when PoRich and Diaz smoked your boots?
You probably should've stopped there, it's true
It's funny a couple of gambling addicts lost to a flopped pair of twos
You know what rhymes with "I do not care for you?"
Hot air- fuck you!
This battle's got me feeling like Scott Hall today, fam'
Catching bodies in the air like it's a fallaway slam
You left Cali to count cards
What an awesome game plan!
What, the 831 just ain't as fun to Monte-Rain Man?
Your diet consists of a pile of chips, and I ain't talking 'bout the casino
Got big brother fighting for the power of veto
I'm running through the game, God mode without a cheat code
You're the best battle rapper...four hours from Reno
And I'll leave you with a nasty ass bruise that looks like a Ghastly tattoo
That's a Pokemon bar, I know how much you're a fan of that move
If I had your girl, I would ravage that, too
Roll in paint, fuck her in a canvas back room
And name the art piece "The Saurus Is a Sad and Fat Dude"
This a quarterback versus a quarter-pounder, this is not a game
You run the same route every time, I got the hottest plays
For starters, even my back ups are not the same
Throwing bullets through the nickel in the shotgun for long range!?
God dang!
What I'm trying to say is I got huge arm cannons
I also have huge cannon arms
Shoot passes that do damage to Shannon Sharpe
If he says he's got a nice hand, it's called bluff
This man's a mark, one deck and he's upset
Only losers like to get mad in cards
And I'm sick of people saying that I end my rounds awkwardly...

[Round 2: The Saurus]
It was almost too ridiculous to say "yes" when this battle was offered
But I'd hate to burst your bubble now because...that would be awkward
But to me, you've always been a suspect rapper
And by that, I mean an actual rape case suspect captured
I'll make this young Ned Flanders take one step backwards
And the next scene will be...edited due to subject matter
That makes one less actor who took my game plan and copied it
It's name brand to knockoff, he can't pass it off a bit
We're in a four-person basket 'cause he can't pack an audience
Hotels.com: thanks, Captain Obvious!
Call me Grim Reaper, the bearer of bad news
And while you're at it, send his family an American folded flag too
I bet you have tattoos of Confederate statues
'Cause how else you gonna cover up heroin scab wounds?
Who needs a Mossberg to go "pop" to know if he got murdered or not?
I'll punch so many holes in him it'll leave crop circles in Stalk
Watch, it's clockwork, shit's a lot worse than you thought
A long walk off a short cliff, a wrong turn off the dock
So stop, or I'll sock somebody
And we can change this plot summary to Boiler Room
'Cause I'm cashing in while Stalk's plummeting

[Round 3: Laugh N Stalk]
So that last round I had some stuff with, uh, football and a casino
And this one starts off about fighting games
Because if I start to punch the square, it's 'cause you are one
You'll take this L, too- why do people write this way?
It seems all they're trying to say is, "I did not go outside today."
But your last matches? I saw them...not awesome
It seems like you suffer from a "don't know when to stop" problem
But retirement's an option, so you went with the Stalk option
Now I'm dropping bombs on Peter from above like the Hobgoblin
Ring ring, uh, sorry about that
"Hello? Yeah, I'll be back to run things tomorrow"
Sorry 'bout that, that was the BLOCK calling!
It seems like most people are scared to tell you the truth
But I'm afraid that I got to
You've had some nice parking in battle rap, but someone's taking that spot soon
I remember when you had blogs talking, you were the top dude
But then that thought process was dropped when we saw Top' talking to YOU!
And your success created a crap factory, just a sea of kids
A billion Brayden's and Cayden's, tag team legit
You made it cool for people to think dweebs could spit
So for those of us real ones, who had to swim through a league of shit?
Eat a dick
And I'm not talking about the ones who force multi's and copied your style
I mean the ugly guys who think that they have confidence now
Watch money get dropped from this inflation, I'm trading dollars for pounds
I'm like Rosenberg Raw: catch me eating once this plate gets off the ground
And you might think I look the way that Chris Unbias acts
But I'm the tech/TEC guy
Not 'cause I let lead fly, just 'cause I supply the facts
Everyone knows what you've done on camera
Truth be told, I'm fine with that
But we should share the other stuff and see how people might react
Like, "What don't the fans know about Peter Morris?"
How 'bout the fact that your last chick was a fat bitch named Kia Sportage?
And when you split, she got the crib
She still made you keep the mortgage
I'm sure you feel exposed right now, but I promised not to leak my sources
Minnesota Luke told me!
So now that you super-died, I should be receiving the crown
If people doubt what I'm about, well, they're believing it now
If it's a rooftop, skyline or hotel in any scene, I'll get down
I'm top-tier...as long as there aren't too many people around!

[Round 3: The Saurus]
Sometimes it's not what I say, it's the way you got told
Ancient god mode, you can't take the weight my thoughts hold
First two? I pulled back, how you aim a crossbow
But I'm done cutting you slack: the tailor shop's closed!
I paved a long road for you to claim stake beside it
How do you make time to battle, AND play bass for Primus?
I'm the son of an animal: James Laurinaitis
State your name, rank and serial: your fate's been decided!
You dying, homie, bounce, I'm the guy they told you 'bout
The ghostwriter for all ten of Kevin Durant's troll accounts
I hold things down, homie: I been the kingpin
This a body from the jump...it's wishful thinking
You whiskey-drinking, missing-link-looking hick, try your luck!
I'll light you up then put a round like a Friar Tuck
Now I'm not saying the guy's a thug
But yeah, he's out supplying drugs
I mean, Matthew McConaughey played his life in Dallas Buyers Club
That's an AIDS joke, Brett, but it ain't no stretch
This 'bout to be a more painful step than a Lego set
Homie you get forgotten now, you better check the lost and found
I only helped you get this off the ground just to drop you down
Time!