Pigsty vs. Random

[Round 1: Random]
I got him his first battle in the States
Ayo, Reddit, if you wanna pay homage, I ain’t gon’ sweat it
But it’s cash only, homie: don’t take no credit
I charge him an arm and a leg, tissue and bone
They finna miss you at home
Everybody co-sign him ‘til I get you alone (a loan)
And your boy lost this matchup before the coin toss had happened
Fuck winning, dawg, the point’s all to travel
I only still do this to enjoy watchin’ battles
And my job’s makin’ it seem easy to do
Refrigerator magnet: I stick to keepin’ it cool
I’m live, 3-D, wild, beastly
You mild, PG, just smile, be sweet
Y’all look at how we dress and think Sty’ll (style) beat me?
Shit, I don’t even care, just keep it peaceful, player
‘Fore I cave in your skull like an evil lair
But aw, naw, y’all, I’m wildin’
Long-haired, supposed to be nonviolent
Dawg, try it
The quiet type, let hands fly: Palm Pilot on silent!
I came to say it’s plain as day there ain’t even a game to play
My style covers all the bases: no need for a rain delay
But hey, today, everybody say they matter, with the same eight patterns
I ain’t seen the game state sadder
So I’m here to overshadow any grey-day rapper
Yo, the nomad’s home
You better hold that row
I’ll beat your whole damn flow
Boy, I kick it nuts like roshambo
Little bastard, please, you wanna rap wit’ me?
You gotta say it wit’ your chest like a graphic tee!
This a masterpiece, the formula for the evening
Like your performance is gonna beat me?
I put evolution in writing: Origin of the Species
So just lie down slowly and call time now, homie
They gon’ watch this battle back...for my rounds only
Plus I can’t stand your accent when you rap that crap
Canadian goose: all I hear is “wack, wack, wack”
You’re like a Aflac ad in a snapback hat!
And you’re half-blind, and that’s fine, but when this cyclops raps
It’s all about how he wanna try combat
My guy, stop that
You can’t even make eye contact
A damsel in distress: you just lie on tracks
VanCity, every one of your icons wack
Send your best soldier, get a pine box back!
Now try and top that

[Round 1: Pigsty]
On vacay...why deny the entree plate?
The dance and the song ain’t changed, and we not playin’ games
It’s Vancouver in this bitch, and it always rains
‘Cause somethin’ gotta keep the flowers growin’ on late graves
Try and watch a Random battle
Shit, I’d rather watch a random 16-bar challenge on Madd Illz’s channel!
Catch a vic’ with an ox, make a bad example
Pull a Victor Knox in an Adam’s apple!
Suckas like you get stabbed for the rent
You got somethin’, I want somethin’, and that’s nothin’ that I have to regret
I imagine how your cash gettin’ spent, I have to get you
Hansel & Gretel the way I got a plan with your bread
You’ll be sketchin’ with a pad and a pen
These hands made of lead, flashes of red
Random hit the canvas instead
You be drawin’ all them animal heads
Godfather scene, wake up with that in your bed
A flash and you’re dead!
Caught with a stray...peep it
It’s lodged in your brain region
Squad deep, draw heat like Bobby “The Brain” Heenan
Body is freight leavin’ the dock of the bay
He gettin’ dropped wit’ the weight
See if you walk on the lake, Jesus!
Don’t slow it down for no clowns, but I’ll reiterate
You’ll leak a fountain drink, mouth spoutin’ Minute Maid
When a body shot pound your rib to paste
Stepped up, now you’re in the way and I’m now ya anyway
Any way you cut it, you ain’t humble at all
You’re the least-liked person that I’ve stumbled upon
I’ve known battle rappers to throw a couple of shots
But all of ‘em were at Random - shit, what are the odds?

[Round 2: Random]
For those that don’t know, hey, y’all kids
It’s Random, Chaos Prince
I started whoopin’ ass, ain’t taken a day off since
I’m used to the drama and all the usual gossip
It’s not all “Hakuna Matata”
But I feel like I’m lookin’ down from a roof up in Gotham
Tryna pick out the root of the problem, and who’s gonna stop ‘em
‘Cause nowadays, shit is gettin’ troublin’
Why is everyone’s favorite battlers Christians and Republicans?
Like the two worst things for Black people weren’t religion and the government
Fuck. These. Jabronis
Y’all don’t even know me
Auto-block: FIFA goalie
Auto shop: keep it rolling
Y’all don’t stop: beef emoji
12 Apostles: Jesus, homies
I said, get wit’ me, I been busy, in Sin City, Mississippi
If this kid get frisky thinkin’ his fists hit me
Swing, sucka, guarantee it’ll miss this hippy
Skippy, little threats ain’t gon’ move me
I will take yo’ groupies and make home movies
And if this little (*snap*) wanna say somethin’ to me
I got a Japanese lawyer and his name’s Sosumi
I said, last night, dinner with the godfather, Don mobster
Two shots vodka, rock lobster
Slept off in an odd posture
And woke up buggin’: I’m Franz Kafka!
This is good night, Sty
Sophisticated, cook my swine wit’ good white wine
That’s why this cat’s path don’t look like mine
All that time you took, I just took my time
I was patient with the thing, now my name begin to ring
I skated to L.A., now I’m playin’ wit’ the Kings
Y’all were airline stewardesses: waitin’ in the wings!
Facts are facts
They ain’t even have to ask
No matter how you pad the stats, you only grow to a point in the cactus patch
But I wanna help, lemme try, my guy
‘Cause what I advise to bide your time
You gotta limit demand for high supply
Raise your value, rise and climb
That’s the path that I defined
Y’all just follow suit like a private eye
Sometimes I don’t know why I try
Sometimes I don’t even know why I try…
Those are amateur moves
I already had the pants and the shoes, just need the camera and crew
‘Cause if it’s RYD, then Random’s your dude

[Round 2: Pigsty]
The poetic form...the getup on...the head of long hair…
It all says “set of lawn chairs at the Renaissance Fair”
I heard you even met yourself a debutante, player
‘Cause y’all know he did that crossbow seminar there
You rockin’ Seinfeld’s puffy shirt like it’s completely normal
If humans could travel time like Quantum Leap, the portal would be your wardrobe
Every time you eat DiGiorno’s, you cut the pizza into a “Z” for Zorro
He’ll wear anything thinkin’ he won’t fail
JNCOs? Maybe Speedos? A fleece? Oh, well
You tryin’ to break into fashion? Blaze some neon trail?
Bitch, you rode in on Joseph’s Technicolor Dreamcoat-tails
Here’s some weirdo hippie nomad just lurkin’ about
Your friends’ spots is your hostels, you’re turnin’ ‘em out
Billy Joel the way you crash and burn in their house
Man, they say you’re on a wave...you’re just surfin’ a couch
You find a building that’s vacant, then it’s chill, you’re vacationin’
You and those raccoons can really build a relationship
Livin’ it dangerous
He was hitchin’ a train to this with his belongings hangin’ off a stick and a handkerchief
That nose is the disability you’re gettin’ comp’ for
I mean, what kind of industry would get him on board?
Got an application sent to Job Corps
They suggested you do fetish schnoz porn with that Texas Longhorn!
Plus you stay trollin’ forums for a confidence booster
People called you a loser, you fuckin’ tossed your computer
You don’t like TalkBack?
How this Guy Fawkes mask gon’ lose face and get tight on some Anonymous users?

[Round 3: Random]
Before comin’ out to rhyme wit’ y’all
I was gettin’ stoned in the desert like Islamic law, without the mob involved
I was feelin’ pretty great, quiet, calm
Chillin’ wit’ a J (Jay): Silent Bob
What’s the violence on?
Do gun bars, “I hate this so-and-so”
I should violate your totem pole
We ain’t seen the cat bust since My Neighbor Totoro
You wouldn’t load a clip on YouTube, you dumbfuck fan
Wise up, this lyin’ punk ain’t got a gun tucked, damn
So if you run up, jam, it’s just your bum luck, fam’
Fuck a battle, little homie: I’m that One-Punch Man
And you look like a douchebag
Well, if the Ray-Bans fit
Way cooler - I ain’t here to play that shit
Kid’s out of this world: y’all can call him Spaceman Spiff
I’m talkin’ to him, rock the room: this the caveman’s crib
But this what happens when Young Zappa’s among rappers
Dumb bastards can’t tell Rembrandt from a Dutch Master
I’m one past ya
The perfect dose of bourbon, coke, of Surfer Rosa
Urban culture, purple doja, sperm and ova
Think the worst is over? Motherfucker, you don’t deserve the closer!
I been watchin’ you lose for years
This Vancouver dude could use a new career
So this L’s a souvenir just to prove that you were here
You barely left your town before
What’s all that talk of talent for?
Without the force of crowd support, son has straight died!
So any clear wins is near-misses (Mrs.): Runaway Bride!
And it’s gonna take time to find the lesson to it
You’ve shown little growth, dawg, and less improvement
I gotta wonder, money, why are (wire) you here? Western Union
Now I’mma stress it to him, ‘cause not everybody’s got the stomach
To cut through tiers (tears): choppin’ onions
You either top the summit or drop and plummet
And the latter (ladder) ain’t even an option, brother
‘Cause I don’t think you’re my enemy
But if they ignore my legacy, I’ll stay a sleeper hit like The Bourne Identity!
This a surefire remedy to take battle rap professional
I had to ramp it up to make it handicap-accessible!
You talkin’ that nonsense, and not in the Top 10
Call me Cambodia: got a phenom pen (Phnom Penh)
Why would I stop then? I’m hot as your mom friend
Ali Uza, the Godsend, Hallelujah and Amen!

[Round 3: Pigsty]
I’m done wit’ him now...and I noticed that you’re mad because I’m stylin’
And this battle was decided ‘fore my man bat an eyelid
Picture that - imagine it was Random actin’ violent
Then it’s Channel 4 reporting on this random act of violence!
You do love poems, gettin’ your romanticizin’ on
You get sad and write your thoughts, bitches laugh and write you off
They don’t like this desperate herb or that pansy vibe at all
That’s why your type getting curved like the Hansen Writing Ball
As for your challengers? Half of them, I wouldn’t rate them
Your wins is wind sprints, you battle bums at record pacin’
Padded up your resume, stance your buzz is elevatin’
This fuck up that quick run like random number generation
So what to do when I could clown this dude with little effort?
Piss him off like last line, when I just assumed your gender
Or be funeral director, every rudiment and measure
Bars Give You Goosebumps: you can choose your own adventure!
I schooled those you a student of
You knew this when you entered
So with you, I didn’t feel a Newton of the pressure
With this loss, your wins are just old news, it ain’t remembered
Style is (stylus) sharp, put a scratch to every groove that on your record
You are every college kid in Vancouver who’s attending at a Humanism lecture group with Rupert this semester
Precision-cut, splittin’ up your noodle to the centre
Have to suture it together like your ruined vintage sweaters!
Kimura lock, humerus collector
Necktie from Peru, Stu squeeze the juices from the nectar!
Countin’ every ounce of loot that you surrender
‘Cause off top, I’m takin’ Random shit: call this Doo-Doo in the Desert!