The Saurus vs. J-Pro

[Round 1: The Saurus]
Before they announced my name you had the whole crowd seated
And Rich ain't show up so now you get that show out treatment
Your opponent couldn't cross the border: ain't that sweet?
So now them URL bars you got is aimed at me?
I hopped a flight last-minute soon as they paid that fee
I boarded (aborted) but it was Pro choice to take Plan B
Man it sucks that battle didn't work out, cause shit is gettin' worse now
You 'bout to feel that same fire that brought the Hindenberg down
You ain't battlin' Rich Dolarz no more, but after I spit this first round
I bet $100,000 you gon' wish you were now
Ninja focus, you get checked with something extra like a Christmas bonus
I don't pick opponents, I hunt and kill them in the moment
Took this shit on 20 minutes notice
I've been the coldest, if I hit him, Pro gets stapled down the middle like a centerfold is
When in Rome, you gettin' thrown in the arena
Lookin' like a Mexican Ice-T, Corona and Tequila
Peep the gold gloves: Midas Touch
E.T., light him up
Get beat by an iron club like the Ryder Cup
I tried to warn him, you're no match for me, Pro
It's no accident
I'll run you over on both fields on some Bo Jackson shit!
Don't ask for this
I'm not someone to throw hands against
Tryin' to play hero will only get Pro tagged in this (protagonist)
Closed-casket bitch, you know I'm brick-solid
How'd you go from Rich Dolarz to the ghost of Chris Wallace?
I'm nice!

[Round 1: J-Pro]
So this is the replacement for Rich Dolarz?
A quick combo will open you up like a gym locker
I'll beat you til my hands more bloody than Stigmata
Til a bone is poppin' out of your nose like a witchdoctor
You got more holes in your face than a hockey mask
If looks like you and Freddy Kruger had a boxing match
I'm glad you replaced Rich, I'd have dropped his ass
And tossed Dolarz around this stage like it's pocket cash
I'm the core revolutionary that ran through 'em
A brown beret in the driver's seat lampooning
A Black Panther in the shotgun; Cam Newton
Clap through him, Rasputin
Y'all saw what I did to Bulletz, I turned this bitch to a mass shootin'
Now I'm back, I get love from these Toronto fans
I know you like to gamble Pete but this is not yo' hand
Check the name on the venue, I go HAM
I got the Queen Elizabeth goin' crazy, I'm the Macho Man
Ooooh yeaaaah! Son I'm a Savage
How y'all replace him for Rich? Money is average
You're an average Joe
You battled Illmac' and tried to leave your man exposed
But he killed you, we saw the box on stage like a magic show
Then Deadman put you in a casket closed
You always been a shaky-ass performer: Amber Rose
Your fat jiggles when you rap in each direction
Walkin' around in real life lookin' like you're in three dimensions
Mexican's roll deep, you better seek protection
My cartel (car tell) in the streets like I need directions
Where's your career headed, Pete? It's been six years since your best battle
You're barely enhancin'
You're still tryin' to top yourself: Marilyn Manson
You were the man in the freestyle era, you were livin' the dream
But battle rap changed and you don't fit in the scene
You ain't Lebron James, this is your king?
You more like Malone, Stockton, you'll never win in the ring
Mr. Two Time Everything, the old champ's back
Now excuse him while he gives himself a Pat on the back
Charron's tramp stamp
It took a while to react, they still don't get it
How'd you birth a thousand battlers and still look pregnant?

[Round 2: The Saurus]
Yo, that one bar you said about Mexican's was subpar
Cause yeah, y'all do roll deep, but all of you are in one car
This was supposed to be your big moment homie, breathe it in a bit
Cause now they got you battlin' me, reconsider it
I got it sewn, no need to stick a needle into it
How fitting, Randy Savage in a ring at Queen Elizabeth
Most people need two months for this shit, give me a week
I'll waste the first six days writin' my victory speech
Your chicky? She been itchin' to get this mystery meat
So I passed that piece (peace) pipe like an Indian chief
You bringin' me beef? Fuck it, it's smack down time
Rooftop, when I say "jump" don't ask, "How high?"
You said you'd body Blackout 5, you flat out lied
Cause I'm the winner (winter) so cold you think you('d) back outside
This sounds fine, who else could do this on one day's prep?
Show interest, then it's settled like an unpaid debt
I'm headline worthy you ain't made a front page yet
So is me replacing Rich Dolarz an upgrade? YES!
I just ain't stressed about this little goof
I'm still the truth, you little fuckin' pygmy, you
Look up at me when I'm killin' you!
If he loses, no matter where he go he get laughed at
And if he wins? Fuck it, Rey Mysterio gets his mask back

[Round 2: J-Pro]
Yo, you revolutionized battle rap? Pete miss me
Your only revolution was goin' through 180 to 360
Yo Peter Morris, when did you eat The Saurus?
He's enormous, how do your feet support this? You're a freakin' walrus
Back stabbin' your best friend was your peak performance
You battled Illmac' that was '09, must be a slow grind
Cause it's 2015 and you been wack....this whole time
I mean look at Dumbfoundead, Dizaster, even Soul Khan
Then look at Pete doin' Soul Khan's slogan just tryin' to hold on...hold on...hold on!
You still tryin' to hold to battle rap bro....oh my God
Peter Morris is in my face I can't believe this

{chokes and then freestyles}
Fuck it, we gon' get through the rest of the round
Just tryin' to show y'all how we freestyle we gettin' this now
It was Blackout 5, let me blackout live
You said you're so fuckin' cold I'd be back outside
It doesn't really matter, I freestyle best on the market
You're wearin' that fuckin' sweater so we can tell who the mark is
Cousin, bust it, ooooh come on!

You're still tryin' to hold on to battle rap? You should reexamine your life
You're fuckin' with a Pro this ain't amateur night
Tell your dogs I kill cats when I handle the mic
I came to put an end to Peter (PETA) with these animal rights
And I hope you came to punch back
Cause Arsonal said he'd smack your daughter with his nut rag and you just stood there like, "Ho ho ho. Man I love that."
Don't react while I'm killin' you, even through a choke, I don't want that
You're the most embarrassing thing in battle rap since Chris Unbias's mustache
Get out of them Facebook groups, where you diss the fans
You talk more shit to Stans than Vince McMahon
Yeah I overuse similes, I tip my hand
I drop more likes than Hitman Holla's Instagram
Fake follwers
But I don't need a brother to hold me up, ampin' the crowd
I don't got a gun so big I gotta drag it around
I got 30 pages of rhymes to make you crash through the crowds
And have the whole crowd lookin' like Christian 818 durin' Canibus' rounds
Dude I got through a choke it's awfully goofy
I'm who you C.O.D. it's my Call Of Duty
Be honest pussy, I'll rock your kufi
You've been put in the air by more battlers than Bonnie's booty
Everybody on this card beat him
You lost to 100 Bulletz bro?
[Thesaurus] No
[J-Pro] Yes you did. You lost to him in the UK
[T] I didn't
[J] Fuckin' liar
[T] Indecisive
[J] Bullshit
[T] He spit Pokemon bars

[J-Pro]
Last year I caught a body for sure
I gave him punch after punch; Gotti and Ward
I had him makin' excuses, soon as he walked through the door
Bulletz was hangin' onto his chest like a Somalian war
You lose a lot, I maneuver plots
I'll kill you with the cool side of the pillow, word to Stuart Scott
You were hot, in the WRC's but your future flopped
You get more ass every year that's a booty shot

[Round 3: The Saurus]
First off I can freestyle way better than you dawg
Off top, Sports Center; one shot: BOOYAH!
And now I'm 'bout to dead it son
You got 30 pages of rhymes up in this motherfucker? Thank God you finally remembered one
Yeah you heard it son, it ain't until this verse is done
Where the fuck y'all think lil' Charron learned it from?
They say a good defense is the best offense
I'd say you were best off tossin' the towel at the press conference
Next topic: when you stretch bars I get nausious
Left cross, you bring out the worst in me like sweat lodges
So just stop it, off top yo this scene's not scripted
Ironic, I hit J and he got lifted
Two pumps and ain't a pair of Reebok's with it
Watch Pete coach Pro, no Seahawk's tickets
Now this shit? Homie this shit, it's backhanded time
Fuck what Pro has in store I can't stand the line
Fuck what J has in store yo I can't stand the line
(that would've been way better if I would've said that)
Now you gettin' flattened by me I guess it's over buddy
I'm 'bout to...break your fuckin' face and now you owe me money
That was from the last event, I'ma come up and snap your neck
This is me, the fuckin' main speaker here, catchin' wreck
Now if I passed away tomorrow...I think the whole world-it would probably shut the world down
Wait, but if J-Pro died tomorrow they'd be like, "Fuck. Who's gonna work the door now?"
Time

FUCK!

[Round 3: J-Pro]
Yo man it's alright, we both did it
[Thesaurus] I did it because of you. You inspired me
[J-Pro] We're in this together dude
[Thesaurus] We are. It was a team effort
[J-Pro] Yo! Back to being a dickhead
[Thesaurus] True. True

[J-Pro]
I heard Uno boned your ex, banged her for weeks
Did her worse than Mystique then shovel danced in your sheets
Then I heard you guys ran train, I guess Peter is right
You two time everything, even your wife
I'm so deadly, two can' same result; Coke/Pepsi
You get ex'ed out and stay thirsty; Dos Equis
I saw you get killed by Dan, don't test me
You let that man go nuts in your face; Loe Pesci
You traveled all that flight distance and I'm glad you made it
Cause as soon as they turn that FilmOn we seen that Rich bitch fuckin' up more battles than Alki David
You seen that footage; Lush wrestling Alki
Ran up on him, then grabbed his neck in the lobby
This would've been similar to that, I'd be catchin' a body
Cause that Rich fool be chokin' in the ring more than Ted Diabiase
Yeah I brought bars about wrestlin' moves
You're the fuckin' man for tryin' to step in his shoes
But now I gotta leave you dead, you'll be left in a tomb
Jimmy Fallon Show, leave him next to The Roots
Kick him a couple times, like, "Yeah that's a real body"
I don't feel this pussy; Charron when he drills Tarsi
I know your real hobbies, playing online poker and beer pong with Bill Cosby
First punch, put him in a daze, that's Rico
Second punch, put him back in a daze (days); that's Skee-Lo
Third punch, death ridin' beside him, that's evil
Fourth punch, they'll be ridin' (writin) together Mac Lethal
That BOLA shit, right?
He hit me like, "Pro it's last minute are we riding together?"
I was like, "From the airport?" He was like, "Nah, literally writing together?"
Fuck that I'm applying the pressure
This is Pete's peril, a last second call got you picked off; Pete Carrel
He's like, "Yo when you see Hawks (Seahawks)" you blaze nada
How did y'all expect a gambling addict to save Dolarz?
I know you're in Las Vegas, playin' your little cards
And late night The Saurus goes to underage titty bars

[Thesaurus] Do those exist in Vegas?

[J-Pro]
He's like, "Do those exist? Man that isn't real
But then he turns into Loaded Lux when he gets caught, "I just had to get the feel"
I'm just freestylin'
You should be on Loaded Lux level, I mean The Saurus old
He was battlin' since cave painting in Morse code
You can tell a The Saurus fan from they wardrobe
Cause only computer geeks think Saurus cold (source code)
He's like, "Scribble Jam! Scribble Jam! We freestyled it was raw it's impossible!"
That was just off beat dick jokes and more pre-meds than a volunteer hospital