The Pool Song

[Verse 1]
May the lord upon high who rules the sky
Look down on our pubs and bars
For the people therein both women and men
They're neglecting their pints and their jars
The craic it is bad, the atmosphere sad
Every man has a face like a mule
And all he can do is grab an old cue
And start playing that game of pool

[Verse 2]
When I was a boy 'twas always my joy
To visit the pub each night
There were arguments scraps and killings perhaps
And everyone thought he was right
There were badgers and dogs and men from the bogs
And young fellas acting the fool
But now there's no craic for every manjack
Has his arse in the air playing pool

[Verse 3]
To the rural alehouse after milking the cows
Every customer made his way
And there would dwell and drink till they fell
While the fiddles and pipes they did play
The jigs and the reels and the rattling of heels
And the polkas and slides were the rule
But now there's no chance of a tune or a dance
'cos everyones playing the ol' pool

[Verse 4]
Now this pool you will find is a game designed
For foolish illiterate louts
You puts in your four bob and press an old knob
And a big shower of balls they come out
They're placed on the table and then if you're able
To knock 'em into a hole
More money goes in, you start over again
And you lose every bob of your dole

[Verse 5]
In the Irish Free State all the people are beat
From watching and playing this game
In their necks they have cricks that no doctor can fix
And their backs and their shoulders are maimed
Their arses protrude in a manner most lewd
From being hoisted aloft in the air
And their eyeballs are sore and dripping in gore
And they act in a manner most queer

[Verse 6]
So if you meet an young man whose face it is wan
And his eyes have a vacant stare
If his jaw-bone is slack and his head is thrown back
And he can't tell a cob from the mare
With his nostrils dilated his head corrugated
His manners like those of a fool
Then your shirt you can bet that you have just met
A man that's gone mad from pool