Johnny Jump Up

[Verse 1]
I'll tell you a story that happened to me
One day as I went out to Youghal by the Sea
The sun it was bright and the day it was warm
So says I a quiet pint wouldn't do me no harm
I went in and I called for a bottle of stout
Says the barman 'I'm sorry all the beer is sold out
Try whiskey or Paddy ten years in the wood'
Says I 'I'll try cider', I heard it was good

[Verse 2]
Oh never, oh never, oh never again
If I live to a hundred or a hundred and ten
For I fell to the ground and I couldn't get up
After drinking a quart of the Johnny Jump Up
After lowering the third I went straight for the yard
Where I bumped into Brophy, the big civic guard
'Come here to me boy, don't you know I'm the law'
Well I upped with me fist and I shattered his jaw

[Verse 3]
He fell to the ground with his knees doubled up
But it wasn't I hit him, twas Johnny Jump up
The next thing I met down in Youghal by the Sea
Was a cripple on crutches, and says he to me
I'm afraid o' me life I'll be hit by a car
Won't you help me across to the Railwayman's Bar
After drinkin' a quart of the cider so sweet
He threw down his crutches and he danced on his feet

[Verse 4]
I went up the Lee road, there a friend for to see
They call it the Madhouse in Cork by the Lee
But when I got up there, the truth I do tell
They had the poor sod sore tied up in a cell
Said the guard testing him, 'Say these words if you can
Around the rugged rocks the ragged rascal ran'
Tell them I'm not crazy, tell them I'm not mad
It was only a slug from a bottle I had

[Verse 5]
A man died in The Union by the name of McNabb
We washed him and laid him outside in the slab
And after O'Connor his measurements did take
His wife took him home to a bloody fine wake
'Twas about twelve o'clock and the beer it was high
The corpse he jumped up and says he with a sigh
I can't get to heaven, they won't let me up
Till I bring them a quart of the Johnny Jump Up