The Night the Pugilist Learned How to Dance

Gideon:
In the streets around here, there was nobody tougher than me
I was quick with me fists and fast with me footwork as you can plainly see
But while fighting was useful for getting your way
Among the toughs of the town where you could hold sway
There had to be something that was better than this
I was fourteen years old and I'd never been kissed

Well of course she'd ignore me, her friends would all sneer
At me bloody nose dripping and me cauliflower ear
For it's hard to convince in a romantic pose
With two lovely black eyes and a broken nose
Where a girl is attracted to skills more refined
Than the pugilist's art, and so I inclined
To take meself serious as a modern romancer
And I secretly learnt all the moves of a dancer

So You swing to the left and you swing to the right
Keep your eyes on your partner, like you would in a fight
Keep to the rhythm, and you keep to the beat
The important thing's never to look at your feet
Then a miracle happens, your mind's in a trance
Though the strategy's subtle, retreat and advance
It's all about attitude, all in your stance
Attention to detail, leave nothing to chance
Which explains how the pugilist finally learned how to dance

And I'd waltz with a broomstick and if I was caught
I'd pretend I was sweeping or practicing sport
But I really had eyes for your mother you see
Wanting her to acknowledge this new version of me
And now everyone's watching, expecting I'll fail
But there's a fire in me belly, and there's a wind in me sails
I knew it was risky, I was taking a chance
But I couldn't retreat now, I had to advance

Gideon and Tom:
So you swing to the left, and you swing to the right
Keep your eyes on your partner, like you would in a fight
Just keep to the rhythm and follow the beat
The important thing's never to look at your feet
Then a miracle happens, and your mind's in a trance
They're all laughing and cheering and looking askance
On the night that the pugilist finally learned how to dance

Gideon:
And about where the strategist's bridges were burned

Tom:
Where it seemed that his fortune had suddenly turned

Gideon:
'Twas the night that the scrapper was suddenly dapper

Tom:
This poor fellow's heart is still going like the clappers

Both:
The night that the pugilist finally learned how to dance