The Most Offensive Song Ever

Howdy Ho

[Verse 1: Mr. Hankey & Kenny]
The Virgin Mary was sleepin'
When Angel Gabriel appeared
He said, "You are to be the virgin mother."
And Mary thought that was weird

Mary said, "I'm not a virgin
I blew a guy last year."
But then Gabriel said to Mary
"My child, have no fear."

[Chorus]
'Cause, you can suck all the dick you want
And still be a virgin, Mary
You can suck all the dick you want
And still not be considered flawed
Although you went to town
And sucked some semen down
You're still a virgin in the eyes of God

[Verse 2: Mr. Hankey & Kenny]
There was no room at the inn
When Mary and Joseph did arrive
But they were so very tired, you see
And Mary had to offer a bribe

Since she had no money
How would she pay for a place to sleep?
Gabriel appeared to Mary
And told her not to weep

[Chorus]
'Cause you can suck all the dick you want
And still be a virgin, Mary
You can suck all the dick you want
And still be the mother of Christ
If there's no room at the inn
Then it's not considered a sin
To suck some dick to get a room for the night

[Verse 3: Mr. Hankey & Kenny]
Then, three wise men did appear
Bearing gifts of myrrh and such
They said that they had followed a star
And missed a woman's touch

Mary thought she might pleasure them
But could not take them to bed
But again, Gabriel appeared to her
And this is what he said:

[Chorus]
You can suck all the dick you want
And still be a virgin, Mary
You can suck all the dick you want
Every one that hangs in the nation
Fellatio ain't no sin
Go on and blow those Three Wise Men
And you'll still be a virgin 'cause there was no penetration!

So, you can suck all the dick you want
And still be a virgin, Mary
The donkey and the ox and the lambs
And even the little drummer boy
Folks will remember your name quick
They'll say "Damn, that bitch could suck a good dick!"
'Cause sucking dick brings peace on Earth and joy

'Cause sucking dick brings peace on Earth and joy
Mary, Mary suck that dick