The More Vulgar-Minded

[Verse 1]
She went for a ride in a Morgan
The chauffer was named Sonny Jim
He fooled with her sexual organ
The more vulgar minded say quim

[Verse 2]
Now she had a figure imperial
And men beat a path to her box
But she came down with sickness venereal
The more vulgar minded say pox

[Verse 3]
Her efforts got honorable mention
Why there wasn't a man she would scorn
One look and they came to attention
The more vulgar minded say horn

[Verse 4]
They would crowd just to watch her make water
'Twas a spectacle charming to see
She could leak for a mile and a quarter
The more vulgar minded say pee

[Verse 5]
One night the Good Fairy came riding
And offered a wish to the lass
While she sat on her buttock deciding
The more vulgar minded say ass

[Verse 6]
She said, "Were I built like an elephant
Up to heaven I'd go
I'd sit on the edge of creation
And drop turds on those buggers below

[Verse 7]
In spite of the slimmest of chances
She's passed o'er the heavenly walls
And now she's the Belle of the Dances
The more vulgar minded say balls