The Moment After the Moment (Interregnum freestyle)

And just like that the moments over
Some good old closure for the soul told in cold disclosure
Been rolling boulders up the incline of this roller coaster
Fuck I need a drink just to think, I was almost sober
Who can be sober in times like this
Put whatever I find inside my spliff and dive right in
Got the target in my cross hairs and my eye sight fixed
But, failed to pull the trigger for fear that I might miss
I believe that doubt will leave and reappear
I couldn't see it clear my eyes were blinded by the streak and tears
It ain't the gravity of reality its my dreams I fear
I know they got a life of their own and they're gonna leave me here
I'm still in the same place I have been
Is this the part where I'm supposed to try again?
You have no clue the state of self-pity my mind is in
The saddest song played on the worlds smallest violin
So many things changed in an eye blink
Suspended somewhere inside of time's high jinks
Gettin' chastised by my shrink, opinions are like assholes so the things that I think just might stink
I'ma need something just to get me higher
Hard to live and let fly when you got death inside ya
I mean it was all good just seconds prior
But, now the bridge is smoking and I don't know how I set the fire
I guess this is just an interval
I'm gonna need a little pull to get me through these visuals
Can't take a fresh step when your ?? full
Liver full of liquor and it's pitiful take pity on an imbecile
?? to the filthy shitty pool, miserable, little fool commiserating with the haters and the cynical
Watching these sins spin centripetal, reciprocal
Of a prickled ?? reaching a pinnacle so pivotal
This is the moment that you exhale
The ?? scale it manifest can make a dead whale
Carved a red X in my flesh for every test failed
Chasing after my breath so I set sail on death's trail
This is the time between then and later
This is my truth ventilating on a respirator
I sense a overdue do to my excessive nature
The only respite for the wretched is in a bed of haters
The hurt and the pain disturbing my brain
Watching all the work that I claim, start to circle through the drain
I guess the words would be personal shame perfect exchange
Inadvertently let my worth burn into flames
The more time, I'm more inclined to damage it
Shit, even these warning signs are half of this
I saw that picture and I thought I had a grip
Watch the light bend through my lens but right then it vanishes
I've never seen such light ahead
I didn't know my dreams were in high demand
If you wanna hide your cam
But they're all you heard from the little lying man, turned out to be a giant scam
I used these burning bridges to warm my heart
Learning how to fall apart is all a nod
The walls are marked with claw marks and small remarks that say "hey, sometimes its over before it starts"