The Mob Rap, Pt. 6

(Intro-Grandpa Jenkins and Skeleton):
Oh come on, give me a break!
It's about that time again!
No...no...I'm not even scared anymore!
But you will be!
You guys wrote these songs the same way everytime!
No we didn't!
I need a vacation!
Oh, enough, zombie, take it away!

(Verse I-Zombie)
You already know the undead abomination
Better lock all your doors cuz I wanna break in!
This OG Zombie's still just as grisly
(Baby Zombie)
Daddy I'm hungry!
(Zombie)
Son, I'm busy!
(Baby Zombie)
But I want brains!
(Zombie)
I'm working on it now, kid!
(Baby Zombie)
You're dead to me!
(Zombie)
That's it, you're grounded!
I wish I had time for a longer verse
I'm still a zombie, but a father first

(Verse II-Skeleton)
That doesn't mean you can't get back on the saddle
When I hit the scene, you know bones will rattle
I'm a bowman whose skills are long reputed
I'll strike you in the heart with an arrow - Cupid!
Beg for mercy, you'll find I'm heartless
Run and hide cuz I do not miss my targets!
The sun goes down, that's when we get started
But when my Mobs spot you, you'll get bombarded!

(Verse III-Llama)
That's what I think of you!
You got a problem with a llama? Try to bring it dude!
I'll hock a loogie on your face
And put you and your obnoxious dogs in place
Don't try to tame me because that will fail
Wait, is that hay? Let me have a bale!
Please just don't load up my back with a chest
I'm not a pack mule, I would rather be dead!

(Verse IV-Villager)
It's okay my man, I'm a fan of animals
My land is fertile with plants and vegetables
All organic with plenty of edibles
And my Golem guards are all dependable
(Evoker)
It would be a shame if it all got pillaged!
(Villager)
Oh no, illagers are taking my village!
(Evoker)
The Evoker's sure to get you Vexed
(Villager)
No griefers man, did you read the text?
(Illusioner)
Don't trust your eyes, or I'll rob you blind
I don't need to be a witch to play tricks on your mind
(Vindicator)
Forget magic, I'd rather use an axe to kill!
(Villager)
Is this Minecraft or a slasher film?

(Verse V-Cave Spider)
Neither - I'm weaving a web that'll lead you to death
Don't even think about leaving, I will eat you instead!
So be careful if you come across a cave
(Grandpa Jekins)
Only thing I'm digging is a mob-sized grave!

(Chorus-Grandpa Jekins)
I'm not a miner, I'm a fighter, sick of hiding
Soon I'll retire with my diamonds to an island
(Skeleton)
Forget about survival
(Grandpa Jekins)
This rap will be your final!
(Skeleton)
Just face the doom you can't avoid!
(Grandpa Jekins)
When I'm gone you'll be unemployed!

(Verse VI-Creeper)
Can it, grampa, your career has fizzled!
I hop on the beat and make the track sizzle
Listen for the hiss, it's your signal to run
My rhymes are explosive and no that isn't a pun!
Woops, does anyone have a light?
Honestly this never happens, my fuse won't ignite! (dammit!)
Don't judge me, I'm getting old for a creeper!
Now you'll think twice to call me an old geezer!

(Verse VII-Blaze)
Somebody needs a light you say?
Leave that to blaze I stay lit all day!
Blaze nation is going all the way
Try to put me out, I'll smoke you like a vape
Dishing out blaze rods - my bars are flaming
I drop 'em like they're hot - can I get an amen? (Woo!)
Representing the Nether forever!
Bring your friends man, you'll be Blazin' together

(Verse VIII-Chicken)
I'm back with a vengeance, suckers!
The chicken is in the house, mothercluckers!
I've laid so many eggs you'll get stuck with!
I ain't the kind of bird that you wanna pluck with!
(Pig)
Chicken, come on, you're giving us a bad reputation
(Chicken)
Nobody asked you, ya fat slob of bacon!
I'm the cockiest kind of livestock
And if you disagree you can suck on my -
(Pig)
STOP!

(Chorus-Grandpa Jekins)
I'm not a miner, I'm a fighter, sick of hiding
Soon I'll retire with my diamonds to an island
(Skeleton)
This fight will be your last one
(Grandpa Jekins)
Just need a brief distraction
Look, singing dirt blocks! Right behind you!
(Skeleton)
Oh, really? Can they harmonize too?

(Dirt Blocks (sung) and Skeleton (spoken))
What kind of world would you live in without me?
(Um, what is this?)
We will support you all, the earth beneath your feet
(Anyone, can we get these guys out of here?!)
(This is ridiculous! They're breaking up the flow!)
This crazy world is turning but this dirt will hold its ground
(Augh! Somebody summon the enderman!)
Excuse me who are you and can you put me down?

(Verse IX-Enderman)
Sorry, carrying blocks is something I like
Hey, haven't we met at an open mic?
Why am I even on this track?
I never signed up for this - NO EYE CONTACT!
I really don't want to sit through this again
So let me teleport straight to the End
For the last time, rapping isn't something I enjoy
(Ghast)
Then pass me the mic and let me destroy

(Music drops)
DJ DeadPig, spin that shit

(Verse X-Ghast)
Been spending time in the lab, refining my rap
The only craft that you've mastered is mining - it's sad
All of y'all have made these raps a living hell for me
Can't even think for yourselves - mob mentality
You got elementary rhymes, I break a mental sweat with mine
When you rejected me, I spent time perfecting every line
Spitting literal fire, with formidable size
If you belittle me it'll fail, my confidence flies

(Skeleton)
Cut the beat
(Music drops)

(Outro-Ghast)
I don't need to hear a beat to lyrically annihilate you
Y'all so far beneath me, makes it hard for me to hate you
Step up to my level, then we'll get to talkin' business
You know the game I'm playing - survival of the fittest
Your writtens are for children, I'll show you that I'm better
I'll have your music box blasting the Ghast's platinum record
And before I drop this mic, I'll drop a bomb on this mob army
Y'all are long outdated, I'm bouncing out this block party