The Military

[General Schmitz]
I'm General Genghis Kahn Schmitz
I scare children out of their wits
But you'll see at a glance, sir
My school is the answer
For shirkers and dreamers and twits

And in this case, I'd say the shoe fits
Ten hut, feet together, chin up
Eyes on the prize, forward march

The Military Academy
Is the place where he should be sent
We'll drill the silliness from his head
I'm sure we'll make a dent

We'll teach him fighting
And left and righting
Until he's muscled and tan

A-hut-two-three, he's pathetic
A-hut-two-three, unathletic
A-hut-two-three, but I'm betting we can
The military that's what makes a boy a man

[Ensemble]
Schmitz, Schmitz, Schmitz, Schmitz
Schmitz, Schmitz, Schmitz, Schmitz
Schmitz, Schmitz, Schmitz

[General Schmitz]
The military's extraordinarily
Good for somebody meek
He'll bunk with bullies who beat him up

[Ensemble]
At least three times a week

[General Schmitz, Ensebmle]
He'll sweat and shiver and eat raw liver
It's all a part of the plan
A-hut-two-three, when they suffer
A-hut-two-three, boys get tougher
A-hut-two-three, and it's time he began

The military
That's what makes a boy (That's what makes a boy)
A man

[Ensemble]
Schmitz, Schmitz, Schmitz, Schmitz
Schmitz, Schmitz

[General Schmitz]
Our boys believe
In the right of every Who
To eat their bread
Butter side up

[Ensemble]
Butter side up

[General Schmitz]
One thing we trust
On this fragile speck of dust
Is eating bread
Butter side up

[Jojo]
Butter side up?

[General Schmitz, Ensemble, both]
And as for those who like their butter down
Down, down, down
We'll nucleate 'em, we'll spifflicate 'em
We'll go to war and run them out of town

A-hut-two-three, we enlist 'em
A-hut-two-three, in our system
And boys soon see
Nothing's easier than

The military
That's what makes a boy
That's what makes a boy
That's what makes a boy
That's what makes a boy a man

[Ensemble]
Schmitz, Schmitz, Schmitz, Schmitz
Schmitz, Schmitz

[General Schmitz, Ensemble, both]
I do not like green eggs and ham
I do not like green eggs and ham
I do not like them, Sam-I-am
I do not like them, Sam-I-am
Sound off
Eggs and ham
Sound off
Sam-I-am
I do not like green eggs and ham