The Meek Shall Inherit

(spoken)
[RONETTE]
There he is, girls! I found him! There's Seymour!

[CRYSTAL]
Seymour, can we have your autograph?

[CHIFFON]
We saw you on Channel Five news!

[CRYSTAL]
You looked so handsome

[CHIFFON]
And you're gonna be so rich!

[SEYMOUR]
Please, girls, not now

[CRYSTAL]
Is it true Audrey II's is grand Marshall for the Rose Bowl?

[CHIFFON]
Is it true the shop is decorating the senior prom?

[SEYMOUR]
It's all true, now please...

[RONETTE]
There's another big hot shot looking for you, Seymour. From uptown. He's been askin' all over where can he find you. You're famous, Seymour!

[MR. BERNSTEIN]
Is that him?

[RONETTE]
That's him, Mr. Bernstein

[MR. BERNSTEIN]
Thank you, girls! Seymour Krelborn... Sweetie, honey, baby, pussycat!

[SEYMOUR]
Do I know you?

[MR. BERNSTEIN]
Of course not, but are you gonna be happy when you do! Seymour, sweetheart, dollface, bubalah

(sung)
Hey, Seymour Krelborn, you prince, you
My name is Bernstein, I'm with NBC
I came down here to convince you
To do a weekly TV show for me
"Seymour Krelborn's Gardening Tips" - you like it? I love it!
For half an hour on Sundays at four
Mmm, TV's first home gardening program
You'll make a mint and our ratings will soar!

[CRYSTAL & RONETTE & CHIFFON]
They say the meek shall inherit
You know the book doesn't lie
It's not a question of merit
It's not demand and supply
They say the meek gonna get it
And you're a meek little guy
You know the meek are gonna get what's coming to 'em
By and by

[CHIFFON] (spoken)
Your own TV show, Seymour!

[CRYSTAL]
Coast-to-coast!

[CHIFFON]
Your name in lights!

[CRYSTAL]
Your face on screen!

[CHIFFON]
Sign it!

[CRYSTAL]
Sign it!

[CRYSTAL & RONETTE & CHIFFON]
Sign that contract!

[CHIFFON]
Isn't it exciting?

[RONETTE]
Here he is, Mrs. Luce! We found him! He's right here!

[MRS. LUCE]
Oh, my darling! My precious! My sweet, sweet thing! I'm so delighted to make your acquaintance. Cutie, sweetness, Seymour, baby doll

(sung)
I'd like a word with you, lover
I'm sure you know me, the editor's wife! We want your face on a cover
Of the December 3rd issue of Life!
Yes, the front of Life magazine!
Now that's an honour we so seldom grant
Mmm. We'll send someone down, let's say, Thursday
For shots of you and your beautiful plant

[CRYSTAL & RONETTE & CHIFFON, sung]
They say the meek shall inherit
You know the book doesn't lie
It's not a question of merit
It's not demand and supply
They say the meek gonna get it
And you're a meek little guy
You know the meek are gonna get what's coming to 'em
By and by

[CRYSTAL] (spoken)
Life magazine! Oh my goodness, Seymour, you're gonna make it straight to the top!

[CHIFFON]
How did you do it?

[RONNETE]
Here he is, sir! The incredible Seymour Krelborn! Owner of the fabulous Audrey II: America's most amazing and largest unidentified plant!

[SKIP SNIP]
So! This is Seymour Krelborn! Ha, we've been trying to reach you, baby, have your lines been busy! Did you get our telegram?

[SEYMOUR]
I don't think so

[SKIP SNIP]
Well, it's a good thing I came down in person. Pleased to meet ya, kid. Skip Snip, William Morris Agency

(sung)
Forget the cable we sent you
It's nice to meet me, the pleasure is yours
Now let my firm represent you
We wanna book you on lecturing tours
College campus, Rotary Club
The kind of bookings my office can do
Show the plant and talk, answer questions
It's educational - lucrative, too!

[SEYMOUR]
My future's starting
I've got to let it
Stick with that plant and, gee
My bank account will thrive
What am I saying?
No way, forget it
It's much too dangerous
To keep that plant alive

I take these offers
That means more killing
Who knew success would come
With messy, nasty strings?
I sign these contracts
That means I'm willing
To keep on doing bloody
Awful, evil things

No! No!
There's only so far you can bend
No! No!
This nightmare must come to an end
No! No!
You've got no alternative, Seymour, old boy
Though it means you'll be broke again
And unemployed
It's the only solution
It can't be avoided
The vegetable must be destroyed

But then there's Audrey
Lovely Audrey
If life were tawdry
And impoverished as before
She might not like me
She might not want me
Without my plant
She might not love me anymore

[CRYSTAL & RONETTE & CHIFFON & (SEYMOUR & SKIP SNIP)]
They say the meek shall inherit (Where do I sign?)
You know the book doesn't lie (Right on the line)
It's not a question of merit (That'll do fine)
It's not demand and supply (This cup is mine)
You'll make a fortune, we swear it (Couldn't go wrong)
If on this fact you rely (I pass along...)
You know the meek are gonna get what's coming to 'em
You know the meek are gonna get what's coming to 'em

[CRYSTAL & RONETTE & CHIFFON & SEYMOUR]
You know the meek are gonna get what's coming to 'em
By and by