Mushnik and Son

(spoken)
[MR. MUSHNIK]
He'll think about it?
He'll think about it!

[SEYMOUR]
I don't like that guy, Mr. Mushnik, and you should hear the way he talks to Audrey

[MR. MUSHNIK]
Gott im Himmel, no
The kid just said he'll mull it over

[SEYMOUR, spoken]
No wonder she looks so unhealthy. It's enough to make you sick!

[MR. MUSHNIK]
If he left me, if Seymour left me
Why then I'd be
Right back where I started
Which was
Broke and starving...

[SEYMOUR, spoken]
Sweet and good and beautiful as she is, she deserves a prince, not a sadistic creep like him!

[MR. MUSHNIK]
...close to bankrupt...

[SEYMOUR]
What a louse!

[MR. MUSHNIK, sung]
...beset, befuddled, and bereft
That's what I'd be if Seymour left!

[SEYMOUR, spoken]
He's a disgrace to the dental profession

[MR. MUSHNIK, spoken]
Seymour!

[SEYMOUR, spoken]
Sir?

[MR. MUSHNIK]
Seymour, how would you like to be my son?
How would you like to be my own adopted boy?
I never liked him much before
But count the cash that's in the drawer
I've got no choice, I'm much too poor!

(spoken)
Say yes!

[SEYMOUR, spoken]
What for?

[MR. MUSHNIK, sung]
Seymour, I want to be your dad
I want to see you climbing up my family tree
I used to think you left a stench
But now I see that you're a mensch
So I'm proposing: Be my son!
"Mushnik & Son" sounds great
Three words with the ring of fate
So say you'll incorporate with me
A florist's dream come true
Mushnik and his boychik - you!
What business we'll do for F. T. D

(spoken)
How 'bout it, Seymour?

(sung)
Be my son
Just say the word, I'll get my lawyer on the phone

[SEYMOUR]
Now, Mr. Mushnik, don't be rash
You always said that I was trash

[MR. MUSHNIK]
Oh, I was joking!

[SEYMOUR]
Sir, I'm choking!

[MR. MUSHNIK]
Excuse the physical expression of my pride
Of the sweet paternal mishegoss I've held pent up inside-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi

[SEYMOUR]
Gee

[MR. MUSHNIK]
So?

[SEYMOUR]
Well...

[MR. MUSHNIK]
Well?

[SEYMOUR]
I...

[MR. MUSHNIK]
You?
Go ahead and say it, Seymour, tell me that you will

[SEYMOUR]
Gee, I'd really like to, but...

[MR. MUSHNIK]
I'll hold my breath until...

[SEYMOUR]
OK, you win, I'll be your son!

[MR. MUSHNIK]
Hooray, I win, he'll be my son!

[SEYMOUR]
Draw up the papers, dad, I'm touched - I really am!
And when you reach age eighty-three
I'll let you come move in with me

[MR. MUSHNIK]
You swear?

[SEYMOUR]
I promise!

[MR. MUSHNIK]
What a son!

[SEYMOUR, spoken]
Giddy up, daddy! Giddy up, dad! Dad! Giddy, giddy up, daddy!

[MR. MUSHNIK & SEYMOUR, sung]
In trouble, sickness, and in health
We'll share the planet, share the wealth

[MR. MUSHNIK]
I'll call my lawyer

[SEYMOUR]
Call me son!

[MR. MUSHNIK]
Son!

[SEYMOUR]
Son!

[MR. MUSHNIK & SEYMOUR]
Mushnik & Son!
That's that

[SEYMOUR]
Officially I'm your brat

[MR. MUSHNIK & SEYMOUR]
Consider the matter closed and done
Now to the world, let's stick
Our senior-and-junior shtick
Through thin and through thick

[MR. MUSHNIK]
Hey!

[MR. MUSHNIK & SEYMOUR]
Through sloppy and slick

[SEYMOUR]
So, come kiss me quick

[MR. MUSHNIK]
Please, don't make me sick!

[MR. MUSHNIK & SEYMOUR]
Mushnik & Son!