The Lie of Black and White

I- I- I- I-

I remember a time when it was easier
To hide behind the lie of black and white
I’d say I’d aligned and that I’d be with her
But even then, the roads had intertwined

When that rainbow, out of reach, up high, hanging overhead couldn’t shine yet
When raindrops from the sky’d merely hide the pain
And make shit wet
When lines once silver'd blur like those of he and hеr
And grey clouds left me shadеd the gradient of dread

Back when I said
That “being stuck on the fence between romance is killing me”
That “every moment I wait substantiates my misery”
That “all the fish in the sea formate the shape of beings I cannot see”
“A shadowy mass of that which haunts my dreams”

I remember that time and what it did to me
The fear, the shame, the sheer relentless cold
I’d do what I thought the world would want from me
I’d smile and wave and be what I was told

But as time meandered slowly by, it all began to change
In a good way
The cloth of life began to be dyed in vibrant shade arrays
The silence turned to violets
Gold from violence
Blue skies that had once mimicked the colour of pain

On a brand new day
I finally gathered up all the will to say

That all my life on the fence has made this lens so clear to me
A 360-degree perspective of serenity
Now, every hue can be seen, from blues to greens
To all that’s in between
Agony never really was the chic

Now, all the time that I've spent in lamentation messed with me
Now, there’s no noose to be tied that could pinpoint my complexities
(Oh, say you won't miss me)
Oh, all the weight can be braced by that which breaks
When tied more carefully
I’ll share what is gone and wear it on my sleeve

And yes, as I’ve said
No, I’m not so blind that I might find this light and think it’s for me
No, I’m not naive
I see the shrieks of the damned and the meek
That still are yet to be
But I’m just a brain, and some blood, and some electricity
And if I’ve got eighty fucking years before the sleep
Oh, can you blame me for crying heresies?

I can’t abide by the line that you’ve made
I’ll live in love, you live in hate
You can deal in rage
You can judge your neighbour and pray
But Jesus ain’t your mate
And he may not be mine, but at least I can be kind
While the world around me spins on a dime, time by time
What’s the shame in trying to be true to myself in this living hell?
Humanity goes both ways

And I’m all too well-aware of the lucky cards I’m holding
And I’m all too safe from the chains and the scathing scoldings
And I see the watering eyes from those still denied, whose hands quake as they’re folding
An all-silent scream, covert streams; tears yet unseen beneath a poker face
You’ll be yourself one day

And perhaps, in time, these rhymes will seem so absurd and dated
(And I know we’re not there yet)
And perhaps amends will be made for the ones who waited
(The beaten and hated)
But I can’t help crying when I see the cruel crush the kind and leave this world serrated
(The meek are frustrated)
Can we carve a version averse to those doomed to hurt the fools who dared be them?
Or will it be too late then?

Every person on Earth deserves to sing their melody
And the drumming of love should never have to quell its beat
But if this tune can be heard and soothe some hurt, that’s good enough for me
If I’d heard it myself, perhaps I’d have spared some grief

Now wouldn’t that be lovely?