The Last Time I Saw Paris

Brian: So if you would recall with me now one of those warm evenings in the city of love. Paris is everybody's mistress. Every man has his own secret memories of Paris

The last time I saw Paris, her heart was warm and gay

Background singers: I heard the laughter of her heart in every street café

Brian: Hey Garçon!

Garçon: Oui, Monsieur?

Brian: Tell me, have you seen a girl?

Garçon: A girl? What kind of girl?

Brian: Any kind. My boat leaves tomorrow. Say, do you think that girl sitting over there would be offended if I said hello?

Garçon: Hahaha. Monsieur, she has winked at you. She has dropped her handkerchief, and right now, she is smiling at you. What does that usually mean to you, eh?

Brian: She’s a cop. The last time I saw Paris, her trees were dressed for spring

Background Singers: And lovers walked beneath the trees, and birds found songs to sing

French Girl: Brian, I enjoyed having dinner with you

Brian: Oh, I enjoyed being with you

French Girl: Oh, it was delicious! The champagne, the duckling, the crepes suzette, the brandy

Brian: It was nice. Oh, by the way, here's my half of the check. Say, you're quite a doll. Do you have a husband?

French Girl: Mais non

Brian: Engaged?

French Girl: Mais non

Brian: Boyfriend?

French Girl: Mais non!

Brian: I don’t know who this guy Meno is, but he must be a powerhouse

French Girl: Brian, I'm afraid I must go home

Brian: Ah, but it's early. We've got a world of time

French Girl: Oh, but I must

Brian: C'mon, this is our night. Let's give your mom and dad a chance to go to sleep

French Girl: That's just it. I live alone, and there's no one to feed the parakeet

Brian: Alone? Well, hey, let's hurry home and cram that little bastard full of birdseed! Taxi!

Background singers:And he's found songs to sing

I dodged the same old taxicabs that I had dodged for years. The echo of their squeaky horns was music to my ears

Phew. How much further up is your apartment?

French Girl: Only six more flights

Brian: No wonder you don't worry about living alone. These stairs make a wonderful chaperon

French Girl: Brian, you never told me what kind of work you do

Brian: Oh, I do a little bit of freelance writing. I used to sell vacuum cleaners, but I had to quit, because I couldn't give a demonstration without hiding under a table

French Girl: Oh, I love the Americans. They are so debonair, so handsome

Brian: If you insist

French Girl: What country are you from?

Brian: Huh?

French Girl: Well, here we are. Come on in. I'll turn on the lights

Brian: Do you mind leaving it off?

French Girl: As you wish, chéri

Brian: I'll close the drapes. There, that's better

French Girl: Much better

Brian: By the way, I brought you a little gift. It's a dead chipmunk. Y'see, when a dog brings a piece of road kill into the house and drops it on the carpet, what he's really saying is “I love you.”

French Girl: Oh my! You have such a way with words. Come here, hun. Kiss me

Brian: Don't mind if I do

The last time I saw Paris, her heart was warm and gay. No matter how they change her, I'll remember her that way

Background Singers: The last time I saw Paris...