The Kiss

She kissed me like a child, fresh and peckish like a child
She was wild as little strawberries
But though she kissed me as a child would do
She clung on a little longer than she needed to

I did it for a dare, go and kiss her for a dare
In the middle of the village square
She was as seventeenish as the month of May
And her daddy was a butcher in a pie-and-puddings way

But then this kiss, this kiss, this little skirmish of a kiss
Was importunately witnessed
By the twitching whiskers and the bulging eyes
Of a couple of the local ladies who were passing by
Passing by, passing by
A couple of the local ladies who were passing by

It was misunderstood, this pretty kiss, misunderstood
By the squinting sisterhood
And thus the whisper-whisper went from pinafore to pinafore
Every tut-tut more grievous than the well-I-never before

Until her daddy heard, her demented daddy heard
Every grisly whispered word
And stepping fresh from the slaughterhouse the crimson butcher ran
The steam around his shoulders still, a cleaver still in his hand

Well, you may buy my pies, he cries, my puddings, buy my pies
But keep your whippersnapping eyes
From off the juicy beauty of my daughter who
Is a tit-bit far too tasty for the lips of the likes of you
Likes of you, likes of you
Far too tasty for the lips of the layabout likes of you

He swung his cleaver high, swung his whistling cleaver high
And his cry was agonising
I shall follow King Solomon's decision, inasmuch
As I'm off to split you down the middle, easy, collarbone to crutch

But with a single bound, his daughter, with a springy bound
Flung her arms and legs around me, singing
Split all you wish to, Daddy, let the cleaver fall
And you shall split me likewise, precious titbits and all

I am my own to give, nobody else but mine to give
Perhaps I'll give it to this whippersnapper
Backbone to belly-button, tongue-tip to toe
From nipples up above to bushy triangle below
Down below, down below
My tangled diamond down below

Which came as news to me, both to the butcher man and me
But who was I to disagree
What with my nose in her breastbone, her haunches in my hand
And a chopper in the offing, there was a lot to understand

The cleaver never, never fell, the jealous cleaver never fell
And although my eyes were elsewhere
By a pressing little message of her elbows and thighs
She'd let me know her daddy'd gone, tears in his eyes

She kissed me like a child, fresh and peckish like a child
She was wild as little strawberries
But though she kissed me as a child would do
She clung on a little longer than she needed to
Needed to, needed to
On a little longer than she needed to do