The Hotel California Lounge

[Skit]
And so, yet another sordid chapter of probable cause comes to its end. Or, well, I'd liken it more to a sudden death rattle as its due climax is snuffed out by the guided hand of irrelevance
When the soaps get boring, what choice is there but to change the channel? I mean, we were even getting to the sad breakup trope, they don't even bother with that one in other adjacent yarns
But regardless, I do so hope your curiosity was tickled, this Hollownull night. At least I must assume it is, but from where I'm sitting, it could be any holiday. Arson Prevention Day, Arson Encouragement Day, Beaver Appreciation Day, Custard Pie Abstinence Day, or even the coveted Simultaneous Spontaneous Combustion Day
And if you don't celebrate any of those... well, you're not special. There was probably no need to even tell you a scary story
Your life is already so boring that it scares me
Now, leave while you still can. While I can assure you that the continental breakfast is worth the hype, I can't assure you'll find your way out if you stick around for it
The valet's got your ride, but... fix your tail-light
Much love