The Horse Named Bill

Oh, I had a horse and his name was Bill
And when he ran he couldn't stand still
He ran away-one day—
And also I ran with him

He ran so fast he could not stop
He ran into a barber shop
And fell exhaustionized -with his eyeteeth—
In the barber's left shoulder

I had a gal and her name was Daisy
And when she sang the cat went crazy
With deliriums-St. Vituses-
And all kinds of cataleptics

One day she sang a song about
A man who turned himself inside out
And jumped-into the river-
He was so very sleepy

I'm going out in the woods next year
And shoot for beer-and not for deer-
I am — I ain't —
I'm a great sharpshootress

At shooting birds I am a beaut
There is no bird I cannot shoot
In the eye, in the ear, in the teeth
In the fin(g)ers

Oh, I went up in a balloon so big
The people on the earth they looked like a pig
Like a mice-like a katydid-like flieses-
And like fleasens

The balloon turned up with its bottom side higher
It fell on the wife of a country squire
She made a noise like a dog hound, like a steam whistle
And also like dynamite

Oh, what could you do in a case like that?
Oh, what could you do but stamp on your hat
And your toothbrush—and everything—
That's helpless, helpless