The Great Writer

[SNOOPY, spoken]
Here’s Snoopy, the world famous author proving once more his masterful command of the English language!

Why not?
I have the time
I got the talent
I got the typewriter
I got the plot!

I - T, it
Sometimes we writers take hours
Finding exactly the right word
It, it, it, it

(sung)
It was a dark and stormy morning
Packed, flat, trite
It was a dark and stormy evening
It was a dark and stormy night
Night, right!

When suddenly a shot was heard
A shot was fired
When suddenly a shot rang out
Rang out
Inspired

The door slammed
The maid screamed
That's building suspense
When suddenly a pirate ship
Appears on the horizon
Appears?
Appeared
Past tense

While millions of people are starving
While millions of people are starving
While millions of people are starving
What?

Food!

The King lived in luxury
Now to thicken the plot

Meanwhile, on a small farm in Kansas
A boy was growing up
Masterful ol' pup
Brillantly done
You son of a gun
Writing is fun
End of part one

I'll tie all this together later in part two
What's that wonderful smell?
Don't tell me
Let me guess
Smells like money dipped in honey
Yes, the smell of success
Take a good whiff
Take a good sniff
Pay me a lump that's due
Fame and fortune
Fortune and fame
And now, for part two

A light snow was falling
And the little girl
Small, no
Little, no, small
No, the little girl
Ah, with the tatted shawl
Had not sold a flower all day
Ah, should she be selling matches?
Ah, no, flowers
A violet let's say
She had not sold a violet all day

At that very moment
A young intern was making
An important discovery
The mysterious patient in room
Twenty-three had suddenly awakened
She moaned softly
Could it be that she was the sister
Of the boy in Kansas
Who loved the girl with the tatted shawl
Who was the daughter of the maid
Who had escaped from the pirates?
The intern frowned...
That has a good ring to it
Just see how neatly it all fits together

[CHARLIE BROWN, spoken]
What about the King?

[SNOOPY]
Stampede, the foreman shouted
And forty thousand head of cattle
Up and down the tiny ramp
Two men rolled on the ground
Rattling beneath the murderous hooves
A left, and a right, and a left, and another left, and right
Isn't this exciting?
An upper cut to the jaw
The fight was over
And so the ranch was saved

Sometimes when you're a great writer, the words come so fast, you can hardly put 'em down on paper

There's that wonderful smell called
Eau de happiness
Smells like money
Dipped in honey
Yes, the smell of success
Take a good whiff
Take a good sniff
Why stop at one, be rude
Fame and fortune
Fortune and fame
And now
To conclude...

The young intern, sat by himself
In the corner of the coffee shop
Now, zing in the moral old friend
He had learned about medicine
But, more important is
He had learned about life!

The, the, the, the, the... Oh!
The End!