The Captain’s Fat Theresa Shoes

A brown felt top hat wrapped with a bow
Yellow wrap around girl-watchers that never show
His blue eyes, his blue eyes
What a fantastic disguise
He's so grand and fantastic, so wonderful

The T of his T-strap stands for Tippie-Toes
His Tippie-Toes fit him to a T
Oh C.B. do a tap dance for me
With your bigga fat Tippie-Toe Theresa Shoes

A jacket with virgin, virgin button holes
Reaching for experienced buttons
Thin striped chords that circle his
Porcelain ankles funneling down to
The Captain's fat Theresa shoes

The T of his T-strap stands for Tippie-Toes
His Tippie-Toes fit him to a T
Oh C.B. do a tap dance for me
With your big fat Tippie-Toe Theresa Shoes

His blue eyes, his blue eyes
What a fantastic disguise
He's so gay and fantastic, so wonderful
The elevated plastic heels
That wish they could, look like wood
That wish they could, look like wood
Shuffle on the floor and do so very much more
Than other shoes, than other shoes
Than other shoes ever could

The T of his T strap stands for Tippie-Toes
His Tippie-Toes fit him to a T
Oh C.B. do a tap dance for me