The Bad Years

At what age do I have to stop smoking?
‘Cause I think there’s a cut off
When it stops being cool
And you just have lung cancer
And I like wife beaters
And keg stands
And indie bands
But I think there’s a cut off
I hope it isn’t twenty-five

And I would hope that I’ll stop being poor someday
‘Cause I really want a flat screen TV
Like, my friends all have flat screen TVs
And I want one
And an iPhone
And an IRA
What’s an IRA?
I don’t know

Everybody’s getting married
And I can’t do it
My girlfriend wants to
But I don’t want to
‘Cause then you have babies
And you don’t have one
You have multiple babies
In succession
And babies puke
They puke almost as much
As the drunk girl my roommate brought home last night
And I won’t clean up puke
So I can’t have babies
Or drunk girls

So I’m standing on 10th avenue
I’m standing on 10th avenue
My toilet is dirty
I’m wearing an undershirt
I’m thinking of this other girl I met
And I’m smoking a cigarette

They say these are
The best years of your life
I don’t know about that
Second grade was pretty good
We went to Wildwood
Middle school was cool
I kissed girls. They were sober
I don’t think these are
The best years of your life
These are…
These are…

[Voices]
Oh. Oh. Oh...

These are...
These are…
Oh…