That’s Your Funeral

[MRS SOWERBERRY] (Spoken)
Yes. You know for once, Henry, you might've had a decent idea. Can you keep that expression for a long time, boy? With a crowd watching you?

[OLIVER] (Spoken)
Yes, ma'am, I think so

[MR SOWERBERRY]
He's a born undertaker's mute
I can see him in his black silk suit
Following behind the funeral procession
With his features fixed in a suitable expression

There'll be horses with tall black plumes
To escort us to the family tombs
With mourners in all corners
Who've been taught to weep in tune

Then the coffin lined with satin
That's your funeral

[MRS SOWERBERRY]
That's your funeral!

[MR SOWERBERRY]
Large enough to wear your hat in
That's your funeral

[MRS SOWERBERRY]
That's your funeral

[MR SOWERBERRY]
We're just here to glamourise you for that endless sleep

[MR SOWERBERRY, MRS SOWERBERRY]
You might just as well look fetching
When you're six feet deep

[MRS SOWERBERRY]
At the wake we'll drink a toddy
To the body beautiful

[MR SOWERBERRY]
That's your funeral

[MRS SOWERBERRY]
Not our funeral

[MR SOWERBERRY, MRS SOWERBERRY]
That's your funeral

[MR SOWERBERRY]
If you're fond of over-eating
That's your funeral

[MR BUMBLE]
I-!

[MR SOWERBERRY, MRS SOWERBERRY]
That's your funeral

[MR SOWERBERRY]
Starve yourself by undereating
That's your funeral

[MR BUMBLE]
That's my funeral

[MRS SOWERBERRY]
Visualise the earth descending on you clod by clod
You can't come back when you're buried underneath the sod!

[MR SOWERBERRY, MRS SOWERBERRY]
We will not reduce our prices
Keep your vices usual

[MR SOWERBERRY]
That's your funeral

[MRS SOWERBERRY]
Not our funeral

[MR SOWERBERRY, MRS SOWERBERRY]
That's your funeral

[MR BUMBLE]
I don't think this song is funny

[MR SOWERBERRY]
That's your funeral

[MRS SOWERBERRY]
That's your funeral

[MR BUMBLE]
Here's the boy, now where's the money?

[MR SOWERBERRY]
That's your funeral

[MR BUMBLE]
That's your funeral

[MR SOWERBERRY, MRS SOWERBERRY]
We don't harbour thoughts macabre
There's no need to frown
In the end we'll either burn you up or nail you down
We love coughs and wheezes and diseases called incurable

[MR SOWERBERRY]
That's your funeral

[MRS SOWERBERRY]
No one else's funeral!

[MR SOWERBERRY]
That's your

[MRS SOWERBERRY]
That's your

[MR SOWERBERRY, MRS SOWERBERRY]
Funeral!