Oom-Pah-Pah

[BARTENDER] (Spoken)
Ladies and gentleman! Brethren, sinners all! I call upon our goddess of the virtues to give us her well-known rendition of the old school song, Oom-Pah-Pah!

[NANCY] (Spoken)
Right, thank you, alright, you ready? Shut up!

[NANCY]
There's a little ditty
They're singing in the city
Especially when I've been on the gin or the beer
If you've got the patience
Your own imaginations
Will tell you just exactly what you want to hear

[ENSEMBLE]
Oom-pah-pah, oom-pah-pah
That's how it goes
Oom-pah-pah, oom-pah-pah
Everyone knows

[NANCY]
They all suppose what they wanna suppose
When they hear oom-pah-pah
(Alright, my drunken friend, you're with me!)
Mr. Percy Snodgrass, would often have the odd glass
But never when he thought anybody could see
Secretly he'd buy it, and drink it on the quiet
And dream he was an earl with a girl on each knee

[ENSEMBLE]
Oom-pah-pah, oom-pah-pah
That's how it goes
Oom-pah-pah, oom-pah-pah
Everyone knows

[NANCY]
What is the cause of his red shiny nose?
Could it be oom-pah-pah?

[NANCY] (Spoken)
Right!

[MAN] (Spoken)
Go on, Nance!

[NANCY] (Spoken)
Where's my gorgeous friend?

[OLD SALLY] (Spoken)
Me!

[NANCY] (Spoken)
Put that sailor down! Sally, you ready? Isn't she beautiful?

[NANCY]
Pretty little Sally goes walking down the alley
Displays her pretty ankles to all of the men
They can see her garters, but not for free and gratis
An inch or two then she knows when to say when

[ENSEMBLE]
Oom-pah-pah, oom-pah-pah
That's how it goes
Oom-pah-pah, oom-pah-pah
Everyone knows

[NANCY]
Whether it's hidden or whether it shows
It's the same oom-pah-pah

[NANCY] (Spoken)
Come on, gorgeous! Right, shut up. This is a sad, sad tale

[NANCY]
She was from the country
But now she's up her gum tree
She let a fella feed her then lead her along
What's the use of crying?
She made her bed to lie in
She's glad to bring a coin in
And join in this song

[ENSEMBLE]
Oom-pah-pah, oom-pah-pah
That's how it goes
Oom-pah-pah, oom-pah-pah
Everyone knows

[NANCY]
She is no longer the same blushing rose

[ENSEMBLE]
Ever since oom-pah-pah

[NANCY]
Oom-pah-pah

[ENSEMBLE]
Oom-pah-pah

[NANCY]
Oom-pah-pah

[ENSEMBLE]
Oom-pah-pah

[NANCY]
Oom-pah-pah

[ENSEMBLE]
Oom-pah-pah

[NANCY]
Oom-pah-pah

[ENSEMBLE]
Oom-pah-pah
Oom-pah-pah
Oom-pah-pah
Oom-pah-pah
Oom-pah-pah
Oom-pah-pah
Oom-pah-pah
Oom-pah-pah
Oom-pah-pah

[NANCY] (ENSEMBLE)
All together now! (Oom-pah-pah)
There's a little ditty (Oom-pah-pah, oom-pah-pah)
They're singing in the city (That's how it goes)
Especially when I've been on the gin or the beer (Oom-pah-pah, oom-pah-pah, everyone knows)
If you've got the patience (They all suppose)
Your own imaginations (What they wanna suppose)
Will tell you just exactly what you want to hear (When they hear oom-pah-pah)

(Oom-pah-pah, oom-pah-pah)
(That's how it goes) That's how it goes!
(Oom-pah-pah, oom-pah-pah)
(Everyone knows)

[NANCY, ENSEMBLE]
They all suppose what they wanna suppose

[NANCY]
When they hear oom

[NANCY, ENSEMBLE]
Pah-pah