That’s Showbiz

You work 689 days in a row
6 shows a day
15 Minute breaks
Is that showbiz?

No matter how bad you feel
You could have a fever and the dry heaves
From that left handed cigarette
And shot of old crow you did between the first and secon show

You could have a social disease you caught
From some platinum blonde bombshell in Boise
You could feel bad because you lost your wallet, your dog, your best friend
Or even your wife

And no matter how bad you feel
When those house lights go down
A smile lights up your face
Why? 'cause that's showbiz

You work, practice, woodshed
Suffer for your craft
Do the old soft shoe till your feet bleed
Sing mammy till your throat swells
All the while smiling though your face hurts

You do this for ten years
And the day after the back page of some local rag says your great
You see somebody better, and younger than yourself
And he closes the show with a gag he stole from you
And that's showbiz

You reward? A fast car you never get to drive
Ex-wives and kids who do interviews with the scandal sheets
A long cool broad who loves you for your name and your name only
This afternoon's pizza backstage of some dive you've played a hundred times before
Where rats the size of a loaf of bread climb the walls and run the pipes
Where the same drunk crudely delivers the same insults that you counter
The same way every night
Except your delivery is a little different, and the people laugh
That's showbiz

Your up for the part of leading man in a full length feature film
And after you read, you get a part
One lousy line in a scene where you play the school janitor
So you say you're line with all the pizzaz and intensity of a Bogey
Or an Edward G
And that's showbiz

So I say to all the little people
Who spit shined and polished
My long and jagged trail to the top, "Thank you."
For without you, the little people, I would not be where I am today
It is truly you who are, showbiz

Come on! Give youself a round of applause
The little people! Give it up! Yeah!
Please look for me in a new T.V. mini series drama
Where I portray myself in the story of my life
Simply entitled "That's Showbiz."
Thank you! You've been a wonderful audience!
I love you and remember
That's showbiz! Good night!