Teenage Angst

Teenagers sure look sad today
Like, whatever, ramdom is all they say
When I was a teen, everything was super okay

I wore pants that fit, Mom tied my sweater
When the cat fell down the well, I volunteered to go get her
I never saw the shame in being a bed-wetter

No teenage angst, not for me, no thanks
I was a young Tom Hanks

If the girl said no, then I kept it platonic
I brought soup to the kids whose diseases were chronic
My friends did drugs but I was hooked on phonics

The dancing I did was devoid of slammin'
I loved the work of Lionel Richie, he was totally jammin'
I did 35 hours in the 30 hour famine

Always a good boy on my best behaviour
Vanilla ice cream was my most favourite flavour
I had a Mexican pen paly named Javier, but Mom called him Havier

No teenage angst, not for me, no thanks
No metal in my nose
Army boots or trench coat
Had a big crush on Blossom
Sang along to Phil Collins
If I had a ring tone
It would be Sussudio
Fixed the brakes on Grandma's walker
Got stuffed into a locker
I was a young Tom Hanks