Suzanne

And now we'd like to do a tribute to a very talented songwriter, singer, dancer, juggler, skateboarder, ice cream saleswoman, nazi hunter, fugitive logger, cakemaker, cat owner, dog worshipper, sausage stuffer, mushroom licker and toadstool. This is our tribute to the very lovely and talented Suzanne Vega

[knock knock]
Come in
A small boy comes walking on the street as afar above him a gull swings with tiny, razor-sharp onions taped to its eyelids and it screams, "This is your pune!"

And the boy says, "What's a pune?" as he falls into a cup
And screams, "I am boiling, I think I'm boiling up."
And then the sky opens up and a huge craftwagon falls to the earth and out of it jumped Jesus. And then I heard a sound, it sounded like freedom but it ended up being very quiet so I went back to sleep. And then I heard a noise deep in my bowels. It reminded me of Christmas trees because it was so green. And I had a floatation device installed in my liver so I would not sink if I drowned. And then out of the nursery I heard the children screaming, "Why do they always make me kill?"

Are you lost in love?
Just like me
Looking for love
Just like me
Hoping for love
Just like me
Searching for love
Just like me

Ou est l'amour?
My uncle thought he was a tuba so we all blew hard on his buttocks and he made noises out of the bell of his head. And I said, "Ha ha, there's the funny uncle. He is a brass instrument, not a woodwind, remember that, kids." And then out of the dresser there came a loaf of socks and everyone said, "Mmm delicious! Just what we need for our picnic party!"

I dreamed of you
And I dreamed in blue
And then I washed my hair
Sometimes when I'm all alone I crawl under the carpet and search for bits of lint and then I knit them together into a little brother and I torment him with my evil, evil eyes until he cries

Have you ever smelled a porcupine as its thrown the air by a huge luberjack who screams, "I'm never going to wash myself again, not for a million dollars!"

Are you lost in love?
Just like me
Looking for love
Just like me
Searching for love
Just like me
Looking for love
Just like me

Here we go!

I am a dolphin
I am a squirrel
I am a beast who lives beneath the waters
Watch me flip my venomous tail as I make noises with my blowhole
[noises]

I am a crystal piece of jewelry
I am a float in a big parade
I am a quiet little mincing moron in your suit pocket
I once left myself all alone and realized that I had no phone, so I borrowed my sister's and she said, "May I call you?"

And I said, "Why? Because I am the pope of all the queens of England! Would you kiss me?"

And then I heard a noise and it sounded like my little bones turning to squid and everyone kicked me and said, "Release your ink NOW, buddy!"

And then I died
But no one cried
Because I died inside