Super Skier

They called him Super Skier
As he sat around the Sundeck
And he swore that he’d never spill
When they finally took him down
They had to use three toboggans
To carry all the pieces down the hill

He was goin’ down that slope
Goin’ ninety miles an hour
When he caught an edge of his ski
Well, his clothes, they were fast
But the slopes, they were faster
That’s the last of Super Skier we shall see

He hollered, “What the hell!”
As he put ‘em parallel
He figured there was nothing else to learn
As he started on his way,
He was shoutin’, “Ondelay!”
Assumin’ that he’d never have to turn

Well, he was slippin’ down that slope
Goin’ ninety miles an hour
When a mogul flipped him in the air
His jumpin’ form was fine
Until he ran into a pine
And two one-legged skiers left from there

He was goin’ down that slope
Goin’ ninety miles an hour
When he caught an edge of his ski
Well, his clothes, they were fast
But the slopes, they were faster
That’s the last of Super Skier we shall see

When he left the tree at last
He was skiin’ twice as fast
Both halves were skimming moguls like a feather
He said, “If I must be
A split personality,
How can I ever keep my knees together?”

One ski was headed east
And the other headed west
‘Cause both of them, you see, were running freer
Well, the folks on Little Nell
They looked up as scared as hell
Said, “It’s a bird…no, it’s a plane…it’s Super Skier!”

He was goin’ down that slope
Goin’ ninety miles an hour
When he caught an edge of his ski
Well, his clothes, they were fast
But the slopes, they were faster
That’s the last of Super Skier we shall see

Well, the moral of my story
Though my story’s kinda gory
Is very simple even to a dope
Buy the fastest clothes you can
Then talk skiing like a man
But don’t let people catch you on the slope

He was goin’ down that slope
Goin’ ninety miles an hour
When he caught an edge of his ski
Well, his clothes, they were fast
But the slopes, they were faster
That’s the last of Super Skier we shall see

That’s the last of super skier we shall see