Suicide Note

(Verse)

Dear family, I am sorry for this letter
Sorry for the pain I'm leaving behind, I hope it gets better
I have done something stupid and not out of pride or pleasure
But cause I felt too much pressure
To please everybody except myself so against myself
I had a vendetta
They say you reap what you sow and now my body is cold
Damn man I might need a sweater
Before I explode with guilt and anger, I need to mix all of my emotions and try and get it together
Just like a carburettor

Cause I can't get no rest
I've been feeling so stressed
I've been feeling depressed
All of these thoughts in my head
Cannot sleep when I'm in bed
Maybe I'll sleep when I'm dead
Cause how can a home not feel like home, sorry but somebody has to confess

Remember when I was kicked out of the house and had to sleep on the floor
You never forgave me but you forgave me somebody else who brings trouble to the door
This how I feel to the core
But this is not new to me I can ensure
That I have already been here before
My drip is the blood from the scars that i've worn
Drinking away every drink that I pour is the way I endure all the pain
That is something that can't be restored
Don't even know what goes on in my head, maybe the demons can give you a tour

Late nights that i've stayed up
Scenarios i've made up
Thinking bout the robbery and breakups
This a foundation you can't make up

To face my fears, I look in the mirror
As we go through chapters, the book's getting thinner
Trapped in a tunnel, i've not seen a glimmer of hope
My body gets cold and I shiver
Been known firing shots but if I had one more shot to fire, would I pull the trigger
I know you don't want to hear this but that's how I'm feeling
I know the truth can be bitter

The amount of trapped inside is a fair amount
I guess there are some things you don't care about
I was out the door ready to die
Where you never even cared bout my whereabouts

Risked health to show potential in me
The more I please them, the less I am me
The more that I write, the less that I speak
The less that is said, That less that I breathe

Tried to please them instead I lost my mind
Looking at the clock and i've got no time
When I feel low, you all stay high
Now I'm here asking myself why
Why?
Would I leave this behind
But maybe for all the demons to die
I needed to die
Cause death is the only thing guaranteed in this life

Do what I (Mc)can 'fore I'm missing like Madeleine
Losing the plot from the shit i've been battling
Depression and family issues along with the album, don't know how I manage it
Got my whole life in the palm of my hands, so tell me why the fuck am I gambling
Hanging on by a thread man I'm dangling
Don't know what's happening
Everything's blackening
It's all unravelling
Maybe I'm rambling
Maybe I'm talented
Maybe I'm not but it's saddening
That I'm abandoning my life away, man I'm panicking
Scrambling at the rope on my neck, man I am strangling

Losing all hope
Maybe today is the day that I broke
All I can do is say sorry
Cause that is the end of my suicide note...

(Outro)