Suicide I

I sit on my front porch and light a cigarette in the middle of the evening
There’s a thickness in the atmosphere around me

As I tilt my head back against the fortress of my home, all I can do is remember and wish these walls were painted blue

I hold my troubles in my lungs and release their smoldered vapors to be free amongst the sunset

I am personified in my own head as a better man than I’ve ever been
And I want to be remembered as such

This is classic “He picked the bad apple in the bunch” support system
I’ll fetch the tinder. We’ll smoke his witchcraft alive and send his ashes into the abyss

You’re a horrible mess
And I’m as horrible, yes

Echolocation when you’ve lost sight of your light
It’s on some Super Moon shit

Tonight, we let the devils play advocate to my impressive bedrock foundation
Send signals straight from the nucleus

He is the center of all your problems
He is the answer to the qualms you haven’t solved yet
She’s the sweat that nervousness and psalms bred
She’s the lines betwixt your palms read

I pulled the bears out of the cottage
They were determined junkie-enablers who set their sights on the universe’s final mystery

What is it about the end of times that lets the hopeless live life contently?
Suddenly the final clue is found and all that’s left of curiosity is (You were right and I was wrong) like trying to convince the wrong date to a groundhog

Set Nibelheim to flames and call the man with one wing a bastard of divinity

Do you really want to know who you are?
Can you handle diving deep in your own heart?
Learn about yourself before your good luck turns tits up
Bottom of the well with your rope cut

Now tell me exactly how you plan to get us outta this one?

Make your mood malleable
The wrong guy will fuck you in the streets
The Good Guys and The Bad Guys take turns guessing how long until you fall to your knees

Sugar-Skull Kid lost the paint on his face to the rain
Exposed his pain to those who prefer not to care if it’s wet all year
I was raised to be indifferent to the thunder
Originate the platform
(Master of peasants)
Cut and conform just like your father did
(But when your life is so damn great I wonder if your father did it for you)
(Or Before you)
(I implore you)

Reconsider

2 shots of Jager later and you’ll be concrete-stuck like floor glue
And you won’t ever remember being brave this afternoon

It’s not worth seeing you free if you’re not free with me
I’d rather have you suffer in a place where I can help you
Especially since you won’t ask me too

It hurts me alot more than you do
I’m vibrant and colossal
You’re far too frail and vulnerable

I don’t pick up your calls at all
From my day job I could watch your final fall