Stumpy the Mouse

I had Cinderella complex with the boys
And ballet class gave me some poise
I've never ever lied to you or said anything that was untrue
I constantly searched for one true god
My icy gaze finally thawed
I sit before you full of ome
In my mouse infested home
One morning I awoke for work
Decided my roomate was a jerk
He wanted to rid us of rodents
On mouse traps--money he spent
He placed them in the kitchen there
Under the sink, behind the stairs
I walked into the bath to do the washing thang
And from the kitchen I heard a klang
I screaming mouse had caught his leg
In a mouse trap on this day
Squeaking, screaming wailing mouse
His rodent cries filled this house
I started crying cuz
I couldn't stand the roomate's extermination plan
I ran to the kitchen in my towel
With tear-stained cheeks, I was soaking his howls
The little mouse dragged leg and trap
Behind the stove I couldn't get at
I froze and didn't' make a sound
He did the same so he couldn't be found
But as soon as I did take a step
He screamed and tried to drag his trap
My bawling in the commotion woke
My sleeping roomate he was choked
I told him what was happening here
And I couldn't hold back my tears
I'll take care of it, he said with a smirk
Now get going or you'll be late fer work
He was right. I had to go
And we couldn't help the mouse under the stove
It was gas, attached to the wall
When pulled the explosion would not be small
All day at work I cried and felt bad
And at my roomate I was mad
I didn't mind the holes in our bread
Or the mouse shit in my bed
He wanted them out, he was in a flap
He insisted on buying and setting the traps
I was young and dumb and I said "okay"
But I never thought I'd feel this way
To hear the mouse scream is what killed me
I felt like a hunter, a killing machine!
I couldn't believe I went along with the plan
To get the pests and scorch the land
I raced home from work really fast
So I could help the little mouse at last
My roomate was ontop of the stove
Trying with a broom handle to knock the trap over
I had the stove leaning forward
But not too far--we'd blow up for sure!
Out slid the horrible mouse trap and question-
Nothing but a mouse foot left on
He chewed his leg off - the little mouse!
And was limping around my fucking house
I was horrified, I must admit
Again I cried and felt like shit
I looked at my roomate and my temper snapped!
I put an end to the evil mousetraps
"too fucking bad!" I had to say
If yer inconvenienced living this way
We'll keep bread and cereal in the fridge
And on everything else, we'll have tight lids
There's no way I could hurt another being
Except a cockroach (cuz they have no feelings)
My roomate had to agree
Cuz he saw how it all affected me
From that day on our little house
We shared with stumpy, our little pet mouse
And stumpy had friends, lotsa them
But I didn't care. I wouldn't give in!
I loved living in harmony
With my roomate, his girlfriends, stumpy, and me