Story Of My Sad Life

[Verse 1]
You will love me
Even if it's the last thing we do
Girl, just trust me
As I'm sad and I need somebody to love
So, girl, I can win life
Let me tell you why I want to love with you

[Verse 2]
Okay, first I'll start with my morning routine
I wake up and brush my teeth
However, I've run of toothpaste
So it's already a pretty sad start to the day
Ooh, and then I get out of bed
It was a terrible sleep, so that just adds to my sadness
I go to make cereal
But we've run out of milk
Do I have to use water? Tap water?
To make goddamn cereal?
So that just makes it even more depressing
Then I've gotta go to work
And work's even worse
They fired me the second I applied for the job
So actuality, I have no job anymore
Well, I do work at McDonalds
So I'll talk about that

[Verse 3]
At McDonalds, they don't even have actual burgers
They just have sponges painted brown
And the bread is literally just powder stuck together
It's like edible clay
It's horrible, the fries are literally just whole potatoes but not even cut up
It's just the entire thing
Oh my god, and don't even get me started on the customers

[Verse 4]
One day I had this customer come up to me and he was like
"Yo, can I have uh, Big Mac, 3-6 chicken nuggets, a large chips, a milkshake, a Coca-Cola, and also-"
And I was like, "Wait, wait, wait, do you want that in a meal, or?"
Cause I got asked by my manager to say that
And he said "Hang on, I'm not finished yet"
So he began listing like, 17 other things
That would probably take up the whole day
And I was like, "Okay, are you finished?"
He said, "Just a minute"
And he got his goddamn 5 kids to order
And they basically ordered the same stuff as him, except different, but the same amount of stuff
Then he got out his obese wife
*laughs* I'm sorry, but geez!
She came in here and just started pullin' out a list
She was readin' off it, and like
It took ages, people were yelling at them in the line
I was like, "Okay, finished yet?"
And then the madlad pulled up with his entire work team
And they ordered their food, basically the same amount as the obese wife
Cause they work at a fast food place too
It's kind of disrespectful if you ask me
I'm sorry, I'm tripping on my words
And then I said "Guys, okay, can we just cut it short?"
Cause we've got other people in the line
And they said "We've got just one more group of people"
And I said "Okay, let's make it quick"
And then
The entire U.S military walked in and I shot myself

[Verse 5]
I ended up in hospital
And I lost control of my legs so they had to be amputated
But luckily I have new ones, I won't discuss that
Now I have no girl
Because, hm, basically, I need a girl
To fulfil my life
No, it's not for any other reason
It's just for that
I don't wanna work at McDonalds anymore
You heard that last story, that was hell

[Verse 6]
Girl I'm just begging you
I haven't even gone through my whole morning routine
I just really need to have you in my life, girl
Cause I'm super depressed
Oooooh
So what do you think?
Where'd you go?
Wait?! What?!
Nooooooo, I'll never get a gir-