Statistician’s Blues

[Verse 1]
They say three percent of people
Use five to six percent of their brain
Ninety-seven percent use just three percent
And the rest goes down the drain
I'll never know which one I am
But I'll bet you my last dime
Ninety-nine percent think we're three percent
One-hundred percent of the time

[Verse 2]
They say sixty-five percent of all statistics
Are made up right there on the spot
Eighty-two-point-four percent of people believe 'em
Whether they're accurate statistics or not
Now, I don't know what you believe
But I do know there's no doubt
I need another double-shot of something ninety-proof
I got too much to think about

[Chorus]
Too much to think about
Too much to figure out
Stuck between hope and doubt
Too much to think about, uh-huh

[Verse 3]
They say seventy-four percent of everything you learn in college
Is a bunch a bullshit you'll never need
Eighty-three-point-four percent of everything you got
You bought to satisfy your greed
Because ninety-one percent of the world's population
Links possessions to success
Even though eighty-eight percent of the wealthiest one percent
Of the population drinks to an alarming excess
More money, more stress

[Chorus]
It's too much to think about
Too much to figure out
Stuck between hope and doubt
It's too much to think about
Pick it now

[Verse 4]
They say seventy-four percent of all statisticians
Truly hate their fucking jobs
The average bank robber lives within, say
About twenty miles of the bank that he robs
There's this little bank not far from here
That I've been watching now a while
Seems like lately alls I can think about's
How bad I wanna go out in style

[Chorus]
It's too much to think about
Too much to figure out
Stuck between hope and doubt
It's too much to think about, hey hey
It's too much to think about, amen
It's too much to think about