Stagnation

I'm fading out, well I'm blowing up
I'm jaded now, I don't give a fuck
Hate living so I've been getting numb
Stay smoking blunts by my lonesome
Embracing the nothingness fucking up
I've been feeling numb and i don't love
Never reached out, never been touched
I stagnate, I've been scum
Permanently in a daze
It's hurting to drift through a day
I'm yearning for another way
Endurance have begun to wain
Submerging in filth while [?] the waste
Live for myself til' I'm locked in a grave
I've made my own hell I am not being saved
Diе in irrelevance, gonе and disgraced
I'm gonna die in irrelevance, gone and disgraced

This empty husk, barely a body
Every brush been soul crushing
Thrive in the dusk, I'm nobody
I chose death, take blame fully
Succumbing to this apathy
I'm numb and for futility
I don't wanna do anything
I'm a failure as a human being
Been a recluse I don't need a bitch
I only leave my room to cop a zip
Nothing to lose if I'm ready to quit
Embrace delusion, It's a benefit
Unhappines has swallowed me
I know nihilism is for the weak
But I've been trying and truthfully
Eternal gray is all i see