Sperm’s Point of View

[Verse 1]
The erection's got me ready
So, I’m strapping on my cap
Gonna find myself a fertile egg
When I'm blown from this sack
It's gonna be the best orgasm
That there’s ever been
The quiver starts, Its up the tube
“Oh, shit a magazine!”

[Chorus]
Things ain't much fun from a sperm's point of view
Afraid there'll be no eggs, just a great big piece of goo
Sitting in the sack waiting for the sights unseen
But someone's got to tell the jerk I can't make a magazine!

[Verse 2]
The whole thing's started over
But something's not the same
There seems to be a different pulse
Coursing through my veins
I feel the comforting grip of the walls that hold me tight
But its headfirst in a piece of shit
This prick just can’t get it right
I wish I had another chance to try it all again
But a sperm’s only got one shot
When ejected from a vein
We never know where we go
We leave it up to you
But we'd rather have a stinky egg
Than a rancid piece of poo

[Chorus]
Things ain’t much fun from a sperm's point of view
Afraid there'll be no eggs, just a great big piece of goo
Sitting in the sack waiting for the sight's unseen
But someone’s got to tell the jerk I can't make a magazine!

[Verse 3]
He's got a spermal backup
So, he's on the prowl again
Wadding through the disco bar
To find that special friend
He spots a bitch across the bar
He'd love to take her home
They dance and drink and catch a cab
To home and on the bone
The jacker finally got it right
I got myself an egg!
It's only just a one-night stand
But he didn't have to beg
Now she's pounding at the door
With her baby boy in hand
For alimony and child support
You should've used your head!

[Chorus]
Things ain't much fun from a sperm's point of view
Afraid there'll be no eggs, just a great big piece of goo
Sitting in the sack waiting for the sight's unseen
But someone's got to tell the jerk I can't make a magazine