Soul Khan vs. Dirtbag Dan

[Round 1: Soul Khan]
Now he got the better beard, that won't crush my pride
Cause his woman always hits me up for mustache rides
Now I let her sit on my face, but the thought unnerves me
'Cause I heard she just got herpes from Jeff Foxworthy
Now you're Mexican which most people don't really acknowledge
Except the drivers of the cars that you squeegee and polish
Well here's something that'll leave him feeling demolished
He a one minute man, chicks call him "Speedy Gonzales"
Now, the idea of you ever claiming La Raza
Is like Matisyahu saying he's Rasta
Lord have mercy
Now, y'all don't wanna see me getting violent on this pussy
Looking like he just tossed a salad of a Wookie
Hold on, front like you ain't offended, we know it tortures ya
But no one's forcing ya to look like a homeless sorcerer
Now, whether Hispanic or cracker
I just abracadabra'd yo' wackiest rapper into a shaggy cadaver
And Dan don't even mind if I put him in a fucking urn
As long as I bury him with his favorite butter churn

[Round 2: Dirtbag Dan]
You see, I like you Khan, I feel like the two of us are friends
But right now it's passion of the Christ 2: Jesus Gets Revenge
What are Jew gonna do?
And on that topic I got a couple questions
Like, how do you get gifts for eight days and still ain't got no presence/presents?
How could you live, never knowing how good bacon wrapped steak taste?
And how do you feel about rolling into an IRA at the current 401K rate?
You'll get that later
Now I used to date this Jewish chick who liked to polish the tip
Gave her the option mostly, she could either swallow or spit
Now she always chose the latter and I figured you'd know since you're a fairy
Does taking a load in the mouth really count as mixing meat with your dairy?
I KNEW that bitch was lying to me
Aww shit
You need to chill out
We still doubt any real clout
Plus you look like Milhouse, filled out, with his beard filled out

[Round 2: Soul Khan]
He talked about Hanukkah that's a festival of lights
His chick gives me eight presents, she sucked a testicle a night
Now, motherfuckers count my quotes say I'm sick as Ebola
You hang with mountain goats while you singing, "Ricola!"
He's a deep throater, I make this he/she stop
It ain't hard for Weapon X to kill ZZ Top
When if that CD flops, he'll get charged with reckless anger
And drop a thug record, Crip Walker: Texas Ranger
And all his barnyard animals are weary and displeased
Cause to you, Swine Flu is a venereal disease
Yo, and you from the home of Google, no one cares you goofy bastard
I'm from the Valley, home of porno, the only reason Google matters
And in your battle with Illusion there wasn't a clear winner
You ain't really beat him, he lost to your beard trimmer
Homie face the simple fact that when you lack a fitted cap
You'se a dead ringer for the head singer of Nickleback
He never made it as a Dirtbag!

[Round 2: Dirtbag Dan]
Are Jew serious?
Jew gotta be kidding me
All you eat is Jujubees, you favorite X-Men is Jubilee
You're into Juicy Juice, Juicy Fruit and diamond jewelry
I'm winning this battle so there ain't no way you're Jewing me
Now that I got the Jew jokes out of my system
It's time to focus on this bitch and how he got to his position
Now if it's not clear why Soul Khan is top tier
Is cause he battles folks on the east coast and not here
Use your common sense
I can win with compliments, like, "It must be nice smelling food cooked on different continents."
Or Soul's got the skill to nerd out for real
Telling women, "I won't fuck ya, but I'll build a robot that will."

[Round 3: Soul Khan]
Now if you ever blow up, how anybody gon' be seeing ya?
Ain't you heard? Jews run the media
Cause whatever he puts his tracks on I'm like, "Damn it turn that trash off."
Whenever they put my wax on, Daniel son wacks off
We both anglo saxon but truly different kinds
This man puts his slacks on one coochie lip at a time
Yo, I even got the chance to see him rock a live show
Everybody told me Dan had that bonified flow
But as he touched the stage I was disgusted and amazed
When he started line dancing to Cotton Eyed Joe
Then he said I could stay at his place, I was like, "Dawg, that's too fresh."
He said he was living large like 2Mex
But then the truth hit me like a hardcore suplex
This motherfucker brought to a cardboard duplex
Yo, I'm a Cali native graduated from North Hollywood High
He think he a San Jose Shark just cause he swallowed some guys
Ain't no way to match my verse soon as I get started
And to make matters worse Dan...I just farted

[Round 3: Dirtbag Dan]
That was a gay display, I should sock you in the face
Instead, I think I'll do you like Ok' did Jace
Tiny face
You ain't got no Soul, Khan
I will leave you on the ground underneath my soles Khan
I bet your boyfriend abuses you, wearing leather
Your crew's a Rubix Cube, just a bunch of squares together
You got a Battlestar Galactica box set
And rock sets dressed like a bunch of Storm Troopers and Boba Fett
Picture this, what Khan calls "marital bliss"
Is a Star Wars wedding hosted by MC Chris
Him and his mans say "mazel tov", stomp the glass
Watching matching movie quality Chewbacca masks
What you acting like a herb for?
You know your music is "nerdcore"
Which is the same reason you're dirt poor
Really? Fucking with Dan is a mistake
You missed a patch on your face
That's a fucked up shave

[Round 4 (OT): Soul Khan]
Yo, now will overtime help this bastard here survive?
Nah, I got it covered like the wagon that he drives
The way he spits makes me think this marks a fan of dying
Cause the bars that Dan supplying is hard as dandelions
He used to paint his nail black to pick up suicide girls
Now he's fucking with me? That's just suicide girl
I seen your crew's indie film, it should've stayed on the shelf
But this battle is like your movie, you just playing yourself
And I'd talk more about your heritage but I have to restrict it
Cause the debate on immigration has little Daniel conflicted
His Mexican side is like saying, "Hey, we just trying to push our crops."
While his white side screaming, "They took our jobs!"
Yo, that's a mighty thick beard, he get it from his mama
If Thunder Hut was Wu-Tang, you'd be Cappadonna
And if anybody thinks this match doesn't feel fair now
Just wait til I leave Lieutenant Dan wheelchair bound

[Round 4 (OT): Dirtbag Dan]
I can't believe, you little internet fucks think I'm weird
Your beard has autographed posters of my beard
Every single hair on your ugly beard prays
That it dies and comes back to life growing on my face
This is a testiment to manliness, that's some baby shit
I use a buck knife to shave, he uses a lady Bic
I bet it's pink too
You look like you dipped your face in glue and went down on a bunch of hairy dudes you fairy Jew
Look, your boy Dan ain't a burly guy but in a fistfight you'd surely die
I'm just curious why you ain't got a top hat and sideburns like a curly fry
And everyone in Oakland knows my flows will leave you comatose
You could walk into a brick wall ass naked with a boner and get a broken nose