Side by Side by Side / What Would We Do Without You

[JENNY]
Bobby

[PETER]
Bobby

[AMY]
Bobby baby

[PAUL]
Bobby bubi

[JOANNE]
Robby

[SUSAN]
Robert, darling

[DAVID, JENNY, LARRY, PAUL]
Bobby Bobby
We've been trying Bobby
To reach you Bobby bubi

[SUSAN]
Robert, darling

[SARAH, HARRY, LARRY, JOANNE]
Angel Bob
I've got something Rob-o
To tell you Robby, love

[SUSAN]
Bobby, honey

[JOANNE & LARRY, JENNY, PETER, AMY]
Bob, we're having Bobby
People in Bobby
Saturday night Bobby baby

[DAVID & JENNY, SARAH, HARRY]
Whatcha doing Angel
Thurdsday? Bobby bubi

[SARAH & HARRY, AMY, LARRY, SUSAN]
Time we got Bobby
Together Rob-o
Is Wednesday alright? Bobby, honey

[JOANNE]
Robby, darling

[AMY & PAUL, PETER, PETER & JOANNE]
Eight o'clock Bobby fella
On Monday Bobby baby

[COUPLES]
Bobby, come on over for dinner!
We'll be so glad to see you!
Bobby, come on over for dinner!
Just be the three of us
Only the three of us!
We love you!
We love you!

[ROBERT, spoken]
I mean, when you've got friends like mine!

[COUPLES]
We love you

[ROBERT, spoken]
I mean, when you've got friends like mine

(sung)
Isn't it warm?
Isn't it rosy?
Side by side—

[SARAH, spoken]
He's such a cutie.

[ROBERT]
By side?

[SARAH, spoken]
Isn't he a cutie?

[ROBERT]
Ports in a storm
Comfy and cozy
Side by side—

[PETER, spoken]
He never loses his cool

[ROBERT]
By side

[HARRY, spoken]
I envy that.

[ROBERT]
Everything shines
How sweet

[ROBERT, SARAH & HARRY]
Side by side—

[SUSAN, spoken]
We're just so fond of him.

[ROBERT]
By side
Parallel lines
Who meet

[AMY, SUSAN, PAUL & PETER]
Love him
Can't get enough of him

[ROBERT]
Everyone winks
Nobody's nosy
Side by side—

[JOANNE, spoken]
He is just crazy about me.

[ROBERT]
By side

[PAUL, spoken]
He's a very tender guy.

[ROBERT]
You make the drinks
And I'll bring the posy

[ROBERT, LARRY & JOANNE]
Side by side—

[LARRY, spoken]
He's always there when you need him.

[ROBERT, COUPLES]
By side
One is lonely and two is boring (Oh)
Think what you can keep ignoring
Side—

[AMY, spoken]
He's my best friend.

[OTHERS, spoken]
What?

[ROBERT]
By side—

[AMY, spoken]
I mean, next to my husband.

[ROBERT]
By side

[COUPLES]
Never a bother
Seven times a godfather
Year after year
Older and older

[LARRY, spoken]
It's amazing. We've gotten older each year and he seems to stay exactly the same.

[ROBERT & COUPLES]
Sharing a tear
Lending a shoulder

[DAVID, spoken]
You know what comes to my mind every time I see him?

[LARRY, spoken]
What?

[DAVID, spoken]
The Seagram's Building. Isn't that funny?

[ROBERT & COUPLES]
Ain't we got fun?
No strain

[JOANNE, spoken]
You know, sometimes I catch him looking and looking. I just look right back.

[ROBERT & COUPLES]
Permanent sun
No rain

[COUPLES]
We're so crazy
He's so sane

[ROBERT & COUPLES]
Friendship forbids
Anything bitter

[PAUL, spoken]
A person like Bob doesn't have the good things and he doesn't have the bad things, but he doesn't have the good things.

[ROBERT & COUPLES]
Being the kids
As well as the sitter—

[HARRY, spoken]
Let me make him a drink.

[LARRY, spoken]
Yeah.

[HARRY, spoken]
He's the one guy I know I feel should drink more.

[ROBERT]
One's impossible, two is dreary
Three is company, safe and cheery

[ALL except SARAH & ROBERT]
Side—

[SARAH, spoken]
He always looks like he's keeping score.

[ALL except SARAH & ROBERT]
By side—

[SARAH, spoken]
Who's winning, Robert?

[ALL except SARAH & ROBERT]
By–

[ROBERT]
Here is the church
Here is the steeple
Open the door
And see all the crazy married people

[COUPLES]
What would we do without you?
How would we ever get through?
Who would I complain to for hours?
Who'd bring me the flowers
When I have the flu?
Who'd finish yesterday's stew?
Who'd take the kids to the zoo?

Who is so dear
And who is so deep
And who would keep her/him occupied
When I want to sleep?
How would we ever get through?
What would we do without you?

(spoken)
Huff, huff, huff, huff

(sung)
What would we do without you?
How would we ever get through?
Should there be a marital squabble
Available Bob'll
Be there with the glue
Who could we open up to
Secrets we keep from guess who?

Who is so safe, and who is so sound?
You never need an analyst with Bobby around
How would we ever get through?
What would we do without you?

What would we do without you?
How would we ever get through?
Who sends anniversary wishes?
Who helps with the dishes
And never says boo?
Who changes subjects on cue?
Who cheers us up when we're blue?

Who is a flirt, but never a threat?
Reminds us of our birthdays which we always forget?
How would we ever get through?
What would we do without you?

(spoken)
Huff, huff, huff, huff

(sung)
What would we do without you?
How would we ever get—
How would we ever get—
How would we ever get—
How would we ever get through?
What would we do without you?

[ROBERT]
Just what you usually do!

[COUPLES]
Right!
You who sit with us
You who share with us
You who fit with us
You who bear with us
You who, you who
Yoo-hoo, yoo-hoo...

[ROBERT, spoken]
Okay now! Everybody!

[ROBERT & COUPLES]
Isn't it warm
Isn't it rosy
Side by side—

[HARRY does a brief dance break, answered by SARAH.]

Ports in a storm
Comfy and cozy
Side by side—

[PAUL does a brief dance break, answered by AMY.]

Everything shines
How sweet
Side by side—

[LARRY does a brief dance break, answered by JOANNE]

Parallel lines
Who meet
Side by side—

[ROBERT does a brief dance break, answered by total silence.]

Year after year
Older and older
Side by side
Sharing a tear
And lending a shoulder
Side by side
Two's impossible, two is gloomy
Give another number to me—
Side by side by side
By side by side by side by side
By side by side by side by side
By side by side
By side!