Shit British Tour

Brighton- They stood at the bar, London- Too stuck up, Cornwall- Too far to go
Shit tour, we should have stayed at home, I don't wanna go on no shit British tour no more

Retford- Tight promoter, Liverpool- They can't afford us
Carlisle- There's no P.A, Glasgow- To be arranged

Well take me down to the south of Spain, where the punters dance and it never rains
Take me back to the U.S.A, where they give you lots of free cocaine

Leeds- Was full of goths, Richmond- Full of toffs
Sheffield- Gorgon and her mate, we all got flu and Trap got laid

No way, Retford, Porterhouse, no way, Leeds, Adam and Eves
No way, four cans of Top Brass, five pounds for chips you must be fucking joking
Johnny Clarke, up your arse, no way, I wanna hotel not a punk squat to sleep in