Scary Story

[Verse 1: Lil Dicky]
Looking at a bitch, it's a beautiful view
Snookie kinda tits, with a booty for two
But she really fit, word to Scooby and Doo
So I pursue it like I do in the booth
That mean I really wanna hit, holla at her like ayo what it do
I ain't your daddy, I ain't mad at you moves
The way you dancing got me staring cause you badder
Than a bear at the zoo
Who doesn't care particularly for the food
And get embarrassed when there is a lot of people staring into his lair
And he very hairy and the air isn't good
She said okay I'm understanding the comparison
So chill with the narrative, cause you scaring me away from you dude
Then I said, I said okay, that was my bad
Know my pick up line's sad
Wanted to impress you, why the fuck you think I buy plaid
We should go to my pad
Let you hold the iPad climax
You looking better than an IMAX
Decide fast, cause I'm bout to get up in the the ride and take a ride fast
She replied yes, now we driving
And now she kissing on ya dude
But the minute she unzippin's when I think I gotta poop

[Hook: Lil Dicky]
Now your man is rolling all around the motherfucking city
While he holding on a bitty

[Verse 2: Lil Dicky]
While he holding in a shit
He can't control it, so he focused, but she groping on his dick
He wanna bone her, but he told her that he feeling sorta iffy
But she really wanna get it bro
Feeling on a testicle
But Lil Dicky reeling what he feeling is intestinal
Goddamn it what the fuck should I do
Cause shawty really wanna get in the mood
But Dicky been had to poop
And now she kinda confused
Been persistent but the kid been tryna resist her moves
Doing 60 in a 20, I got reason to move
Cause I been squeezing on my buttcheeks like a prisoner do
And now I'm getting close to panicking
Stomach is unraveling
Every fucking bump has got me clutching on my abdomen
I swear this isn't happening
I'm staring at the back of the Cadillac in the passing lane
Swearing up at the traffic mayne...
Man this is harder than all madden
I'm airing out the car because I'm farting like a savage
She started fucking grabbing, on ma part to make some magic
But I'm hardly harder than some corduroys up on a rabbit
So I tell her that the plans change
Don't mean to act strange
But I gotta go, I left ma phone up in the last place
She gave me the sad face
Started typing numbers at a fast pace
Glowing black case on the dash, great
So I told her thanks babe
But I forgot I gotta water fucking plants up at my aunt's house that way
But shawty still up on your man
She caressing and undressing me and then I shit ma pants

[Hook: Lil Dicky]
Now ya man is rolling all around the motherfucking city
Trying hold in that he shitted, cause he rolling with a bitty

[Verse 3: Lil Dicky]
But he tripping, and he twitching cause he hoping she don't sniff it
But he only got a minute 'til she notice that he did it
So he pull over the car and
Do it like he Tarzan
Rip off all his clothing then go into the forest
Minute later shawty came in the nude
And then I laid her on a sycamore root
Nobody knew that I pooped
Nobody know that I pooped
Fucking right, nobody knew that I pooped
Until I got back in the whip up with that chick
And she could sniff all the poop and
So then I told her that it must have been goose
She said, "I think you mean geese"
I said, "That's what I mean
Seen a dozen of them motherfuckers in the ravine."
Then she said, "What's a ravine?"
I said, "The thing in between us and all the greenery
I mean it's a stream, don't know why I said ravine."
Then she said, "Oh, I see, and then --"

[Outro]