ROULETTE

there was a time i was afraid of flying
[read: there was a time i was afraid of dying]
i had way too much to lose,
i had so much to live for.

at take-off and at landing
each violent shaking in between
my hands searched for each other,
i'd say a quick, desperate prayer.

but now, thirty thousand miles up
i wonder if maybe i've had enough
the plummet feels less scary,
it could be a favor, maybe.

the wheels just safely touched the ground
sighs of relief let out all around
i, too, let out a breath-
better luck next time, i guess.