Roots People

Now it's time for a brief 'Reader's Digest' condensed version of 'Roots.' 'Roots.' Getting applause just for saying—

('Roots' people!)

"Roots—?" Well, what's happenin', my man? Say what it is. [?] Why be a honky when you could be funky? We here are graduates of the Leroy Funkified Badass School of Soul. Learn all the new hand jives. [?] What's happenin', baby? These and many, many more.

Learn all the basic steps. Become instantly well-hung. That's right, instantly well-hung. Don't ask why. Send your money to 444-8111. That's right, 444-8111.

Now… A brief cultural piece now. A 'Reader Di—' 'Reader—' Hold on, rented lips. A brief cultural piece entitled "'Reader's Digest' Condensed Version Book of 'Roots'."

(sing-song gibberish) Float, float on. (continued sing-song gibberish)

"Mama, those two Bob's unc—" (chokes)

(sing-song gibberish)

"Kiss it, girl. Make me a daiquiri."

"Yes, miss Loli." (sneezes)

"Look here, Alex. There you have Kuntaquinte. Your aunt Kizzy. Over here, the Supremes. Look."

"Finally. Chicken George. My father. I found you, Fred Silverman! I found you!"

(sing-song) Hare Krishna… (normal) Excuse me, please. Thank you. But Hare Krishna, Hairy Lama. Hairy Lama… Hare Krishna, Hairy Lama. Hairy Lama, Hare Krishna