Richard Simmons vs David Hasselhoff

[Intro]
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES
RICHARD SIMMONS
VS
DAVID HASSELHOFF
BEGIN

[Verse 1: David Hasselhoff]
The Hoff is coming in to make this pansy boy drop flat
On his ass, I'll swim to victory at last
You don't know physical fitness, the only thing here to witness
Is a bendy curvey bitch doing aerobics with his disco stick
You're getting old, I can see your FUPA through those shorts
You athletic abortion, thank the Lord you don't play sports
I'll keep watching my beaches, you stick to sweatin' with the oldies
Shove your tapes up your ass, video my body glowing

[Verse 2: Richard Simmons]
Judging by all your wives, how can your surfboard stand?
Your career is as trashed as your failed garage band
Your bathing suit's so tight, I don't wanna see what's in there
Just know, I rap harder than your nipples in the winter
Your muscles keep on flexing, while I'm running so majestic
I've had a damn succesful life, Davie, so just respect it
I'll leave you hoffing, without a hassel, before you can do anything to me
Your career went down the drain, and into the SpongeBob Movie

[Verse 3: David Hasselhoff]
I'm a sex machine, I mean, I have two gorgeous daughters
You're a 70 year old virgin dressed in glitter knickerbockers
I'm the best hunk, driving talking cars, that you've never seen
The only way I'd let you KISS me, is if your name was Gene
And you ain't rich, you look like the poorest orphan from outer space
A flamboyant pasty face, less known than HoffSpace
I'm saving lives, rockin' speedos! You're a weirdo, I'm a boss
You're just the gay, skinny, dancing version of Bob Ross

[Verse 4: Richard Simmons]
Work it, work it! Feel the burn? Oh, that's just my disses
Quit showing off your pecks, and listen to how I spit this
I'm selling VHS's by the dozens, your fans left you abandoned
You're a lunatic lifegaurd, try to find a beach that isn't stranded
You better Baywatch yourself, I'm spitting more than you can chew
The only action you got as an old man was a sponge riding you
It's curtains for you, Hasselballs, it's time that we all cheer
Now twist, turn, stretch and get the fuck out of here

[Outro]
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES (Ha)