Regina George vs J. Edgar Hoover

[Intro]
Snakebite Rap Battles
Regina George vs J. Edgar Hoover
Begin!

[Verse 1 - Regina George, Gretchen Wieners, Karen Smith]
Oh, me first? I'm so honored
AAHHH I think there's a corpse on set, ew!
Oh wait a second, you're that Hoover guy
From the history lessons I slept through
But my bitch of a teacher, not me
Called you a blackmailing, power hungry sadist
But I'm just a- what the eff does she want now?
Sorry, I've gotta take this
Gretchen, I'm busy oh, I just heard a rumor
About Hoover and- On with it, Gretch
Well they're saying he's an old hound who likes balls in his mouth
What, likе Karen? How's that for fetch?
Hold on- She said I'm old? Did shе see that guy's chins?
Sorry, I'll be right back- yeah?

[Verse 2 - Edgar Hoover, William C. Sullivan]
Sullivan, cut the wiretap (On it)
Shut their whiny traps, and prepare for my rap
Edgar Hoover, wrecking losers
Packing more flow than the Hoover Dam
This INTELPRO is spitting roasts
To bust this damn clique like the Ku Klux Klan
I hope you got hotter flames in your Burn Book
Soil this girl's image 'cause she's nothing without her looks
So nibble on the truth like those bars were full of protein
You couldn't fit in my shoes, you can't fit in your own jeans
And yes, I've sat through your play, barely
Someone take this horrid lady offstage
I kicked the women out the Bureau and all I'll say is
They should keep these broads off Broadway
Got all the girls copying your fashion kits
So much plastic, you're like a fucking diva mannequin
So stop poisoning your African friend with hysteria
The real George kept it honest, god bless America

[Verse 3 - Regina George]
Oh hi! I'm from Planned Parenthood
And we just got your results back, so strap in
Either you're seven months pregnant or
You need to hit the fucking treadmill, you fat pig
Never got hitched, that explains the angst
'Cause that double chin's only getting laid in state
You kicked the bucket and the whole country grieved for a moment
Then the leaks started flooding and the Watergates opened
I heard your secretary whipped you bad, didn't she?
Played dom over president, but for her you go Lewinsky
You got cancelled in your office in Philly
Once lefties stole your files, you felt the wrath of HippieLeaks
Couldn't touch Luther King, while I'm the Queen Bee
Even bigots like you would wanna be me
But I've seen the photos of you in those clothes
And that ugly effing skirt won't win you Spring Fling

[Verse 4 - Edgar Hoover, William C. Sullivan]
Don't try to paint me as a bigot now
I hate the racists and the minorities equally
You got thrown under the bus, uh...
Next time, Sullivan, just shoot her from the window and flee the scene
My Obscene File redefined espionage
You just rewrite the "no contact" rule in women's lacrosse
Keep your hand off your thighs and listen right up
Your Jingle Bell dance probably made Lohan start hitting those drugs
I'm the encyclopaedia of skeletons in closets
America's top Hoover even when Herbert took office
For 37 years in the Bureau, I held term
Your life's just a movie, bitch, I'm the director
So why don't you kill yourself
Um, sir, she's 17, she's still a minor
Well first, you're fired, and you should
Get a year older and then kill yourself

[Verse 5 - Regina George]
Ugh, boo, you war shill
Your history aged like spoiled milk
You missed the mark and got in hot water
Once the Teapot got spilled 'bout your oil spills
So bow to your highness, bitch, cause I tower
Your little heart can't take this, like your final hours
Sweetie, you can't call it black mail
When your letters only scream white power
And then you tried sinking the porn industry
Oh, that must've turned out well for you
Is someone mad that their Peeping Tom folder
Is the only time that they're getting nudes?
You waged a war against gay guys to compensate
'Cause your time with Tolson would make Damian look straight
Made you my bitch like the mob, you're not close to winning
Or else your rep's all that's ending in a photo finish

[Outro]
Who won? Who's next?
You decide!
Snakebite Rap... uh... Rap Ba- Rap Battles