Recluse / Jacob’s Ladder

First time I-
First time I-

First time I hit the kickoff I was by myself
Bunch of [?] and shitty speakers shaking the house
First time I ever studied it was up on rap
First time I saw hash marks it was from the res
Infatuated with drama and violence
In a state of uneventful silence till I finally said
Set my own since there was no one to go against
Yeah I see little competition like a violent protest
And I might take a second, still
Always was deep [in front], was sleeping on the field, still
Digging through his pockets for lighters and torn dollar bills

Rapping mood silly got the nerve to call it ill (Ugh)
Playing the victim to paint in a vision
Started painting my smiles crooked, it's politicians
Never claiming it is and blaming it all on the isn’t
I don't pay for my mistakes homie I pay attention (Yuh)
Not capable capability has a limit
I'm at the summit and sprinting and jumping
I always am into something
I got people talking shit like I actually give a fuck
I was one of em till I found you
The only white I got my hands on is the piano pushing keys
Moving dope, pillow forts ’round the mic, keep it soundproof (Yuh)
Jacob's Ladder is made of blades and daggers
Why you falling for something instead of [?]
Thinking out here you really stuck in the same old patterns
Yeah it still the same old but it sound new (Yuh)
No one to blame but yourself
Just cause it's lost don't mean it can't be found
And yet the world gave him nothing but people to keep out
And so he burned all of his bridges down
And now behind his path turned to ash as he walk like he was the cherry inside my blunt
Burning bridges to dust
Imparted on with what's left
Running around his thoughts like clouds of insects swarming around a porch light
He been running from something, maybe in foresight
Bunch of lame trends and fake friends with poor advice
Looking at the world and seeing some privileged white kid say that they got a horrid life
Guess it's all in perspective
Gripping on the world, lose it all in a second
Got a lot of insight, not the balls to reject it
Working over fortnights for a couple of mentions
The emotion ain't the same if it’s all synthetic
Got the wrong aesthetic
All my team is my friends
Beautifully ugly I wear my face with a grin or a frown but either way it’s to my cheeks and my chin
I see the stairway to heaven blocked by this window, I'm just tryna find a way to get in and then dip like