Rappin’ for Food

[Spoken]
Is this one of those happy tracks?
Naw, cat, relax, it's just me again rhyming about some crappy fact

[Verse 1]
Sorry – please excuse my attitude
But if I only had food I wouldn’t be in such a bad mood
Now don’t you sons of bitches tempt me
I haven’t eaten all day and my fridge is empty
‘Cause my monthly income is spent easily
On records and Patricia Arquette DVDs
Now they’re setting up a show and they expect me to be
All happy when they ask me to wreck beats for free
Of course, you need me to get your party started
‘Cause you’re all retarded – it’s hopeless in fact
Once again I’m opening act for some bigheaded big-shot
With bigheaded rhymes in his bigheaded hip-hop
The worst emcee I’ve ever heard or seen
So how come he gets paid and I still work for free?
Sure I can rock their crowd and make a really great show
But they just need to make sure to pay me with potatoes

[Hook]
Y’all just act like this is all a laugh – right?
Lot of cash – lot of ass and you call it rap life
A crooked kind of view – true – but look it’s nothing new
I’m never paid when I play – they just hook me up with food
You talk true shit – I’m like “schaa-ptuh-spit”
Kind of had it with you maggots ‘cause you’re far too slick
Actin’ all rude like you’re lackin’ all screws
I’m out of money and kind of hungry so I’m rappin’ for food

[Verse 2]
They say that my approach is wrong and I’m losing it
Don’t care about my gear as long as it’s loosely fit
Fashion is a toxin and you’re strongly abusing it
Don’t mind looking like shit as long as my music keeps
Reaching my fans and speaking quite frank
I don’t give a fuck about your specially designed pants
See, I too wear clothes you can’t find in stores
Mainly ‘cause they’ve been out of stock since -94
Don’t get me wrong – I love to perform and I’m not greedy
But after each and every show they all come up to me with:
“Sorry we can’t offer you anything – later maybe”
Nearly rock stages daily – damn if only they would pay me
Cheap scum – it’s your fault I’m looking like a street bum
With huge holes through my shoe soles
And my blue toes are too cold – I’m stomping my feet
Why can’t anybody please get me something to eat?

[Hook]
Y’all just act like this is all a laugh – right?
Lot of cash – lot of ass and you call it rap life
A crooked kind of view – true – but look it’s nothing new
I’m never paid when I play – they just hook me up with food
You talk true shit – I’m like “schaa-ptuh-spit”
Kind of had it with you maggots ‘cause you’re far too slick
Actin’ all rude like you’re lackin’ all screws
I’m out of money and kind of hungry so I’m rappin’ for food

[Verse 3]
Maybe I should just shut up ‘cause what’s the point of
Yelling when it seems like I’m just talking to myself again
And I’m getting tired of the company
Maybe the time has come to find someone I like
And treat her right for like about a month
Then watch her stab me in the back
Just about when I’ve begun to like her for real
Now doesn’t that sound like fun?
Guess it does to me ‘cause I keep doing it time and again
Finding a friend for life’s a bitch and then you fry in hell
You probably think I’m crazy, I can tell
But life is like a drying well
And words can’t describe its smell
At least none that I can spell
And I always find myself in situations like these
And if you want a peek you can find me
Outside the club – kicked to the curb
In the gutter with no lover ‘cause they all call me a scrub
And when I’m making raps I ain’t into making bucks
So just get me some grub I am hungry as fuck

[Hook]
Y’all just act like this is all a laugh – right?
Lot of cash – lot of ass and you call it rap life
A crooked kind of view – true – but look it’s nothing new
I’m never paid when I play – they just hook me up with food
You talk true shit – I’m like “schaa-ptuh-spit”
Kind of had it with you maggots ‘cause you’re far too slick
Actin’ all rude like you’re lackin’ all screws
I’m out of money and kind of hungry so I’m rappin’ for food