Pretend to Be Nice*

Well, he looks at me with those innocent eyes
And says it looks like you're wearing some kind of disguise
Because your hair sticks up, your shoes are untied
I hope that you got that shirt at half price
And every word I say falls flat on the floor
I try to tell a joke, he's heard it before
And I don't think that I can take it no more
'Cause he's driving me right out of my front door

Why do you do what you do to me, baby?
You're shaking my confidence, driving me crazy
You know if I could, I'd do anything for you
Please don't ignore me, 'cause you know I adore you

Can't you just pretend to be nice?
Can you at least pretend to be nice?
If you could just pretend to be nice
Well, everything in my life would be alright

And I try so hard just to figure him out
But he won't tell me what he's been thinking about
And then he falls asleep on the living room couch
With his sunglasses on and his tongue hanging out
And then he disappears for a week at a time
And then he shows up just like everything's fine
And I don't get what goes on in his mind
But I'm tired of hearing the same stupid lines

Why do you do what you do to me, baby?
You're shaking my confidence, driving me crazy
You know if I could, I'd do anything for you
Please don't ignore me, 'cause you know I adore you

Can't you just pretend to be nice?
Can you at least pretend to be nice?
If you could just pretend to be nice
Then everything in my life would be alright

(Instrumental break)

Why do you do what you do to me, baby?
Shaking my confidence, driving me crazy
You know if I could, I'd do anything for you
I don't mean to bore you 'cause you know I adore you

Can't you just pretend to be nice?
Can you at least pretend to be nice?
If you could just pretend to be nice
Everything in my life would be alright