Popular

[Spoken Intro]
No, I don't care
I mean, hey, I got Penny

There comes a time in every girl's life when she's really got to ask herself deep down inside
"Is she ready to be going steady?"
Don't faint dead away
But I honestly believe that one month should be enough
Well, first of all, let's see if dating this one boy Johnny
And one day Johnny asked me to be his steady girl

There comes a time where she's got to ask herself
"Steady or not? I mean, do you really want to be Johnny's steady?"
Don't think that a woman could honestly believe that one month should be just about enough
Well, first of all, let's see if dating that one boy Johnny a few times

[Verse 1]
Three important rules for breaking up
Don't put off breaking up when you know you want to
Prolonging the situation only makes it worse
Tell him honestly, simply, kindly, but firmly
Don't make a big production
Don't make up an elaborate story
This will help you avoid a big tear jerking scene
If you want to date other people say so
Be prepared for the boy to feel hurt and rejected
Even if you've gone together for only a short time
And haven't been too serious
There's still a feeling of rejection
When someone says she prefers the company of others
To your exclusive company
But if you're honest, and direct
And avoid making a flowery emotional speech
When you break the news
The boy will respect you for your frankness
And honestly he'll appreciate the kind and
Straightforward manner in which you told him your decision
Unless he's a real jerk or a cry baby you'll remain friends

[Chorus 1]
I'm head of the class
I'm popular
I'm a quarterback
I'm popular
My mom says I'm a catch
I'm popular
I'm never last picked
I got a cheerleading chick

[Verse 2]
Being attractive is the most important thing there is
If you wanna catch the biggest fish in your pond
You have to be as attractive as possible
Make sure to keep your hair spotless and clean
Wash it at least every two weeks
Once every two weeks
And if you see Johnny Football Hero in the hall
Tell him he played a great game
Tell him you liked his article in the newspaper

[Chorus 2]
I'm the party star
I'm popular
I've got my own car
I'm popular
I'll never get caught
I'm popular
I make football bets
I'm the teacher's pet

[Verse 3]
I propose we support a one month limit on going steady
I think It would keep people more able to deal with weird situations
And get to know more people
I think if you're ready to go out with Johnny
Now's the time to tell him about your one month limit
He won't mind, he'll appreciate your fresh look on dating
And once you've dated someone else, you can date him again
I'm sure he'll like it
Everyone will appreciate it
You're so novel, what a good idea
You can keep your time to yourself
You don't need date insurance
You can go out with whoever you want to
Every boy, every boy in the whole world could be yours
If you'll just listen to my plan
The teenage guide to popularity

[Chorus 1]
I'm head of the class
I'm popular
I'm a quarterback
I'm popular
My mom says I'm a catch
I'm popular
I'm never last picked
I got a cheerleading chick

[Chorus 2]
I'm the party star
I'm popular
I've got my own car
I'm popular
I'll never get caught
I'm popular
I'm the teacher's pet
I make football bets