Please Harry

[Kristina:]
Being a Parselmouth, you do it all wrong
This is a gift, but we made it an art form
Harry, you’re like us, but you could use some work
Please let us help you so you won’t be a nerd

[Harry:] Girls, just stop right now
[Kristina:] No, you listen to us
[Harry:] I don’t want to do this
[Kristina:] Oh, stop making a fuss

[Harry:] You’re being annoying
[Kristina:] But we’ve got this all planned
[Harry:] I’m walking away now
[Kristina:] Girls like boys in bands

[spoken:]
[Harry:] Do they? Really?
[Kristina:] Of course they do. Trust me

[The Parselmouths, sung:]
Oh, Harry, you’re a Parselmouth too
You’re one of us, mate, there’s not much you can do
You can ignore it, you can just walk away
I know you’ve had your fair share of fame
But if you join our band, you can help us expand
We can tour from Antarctica to Japan
So, think about it, Harry
Don’t you want to jam?

[Harry:] I see what you’re saying, but this is a big step
You’re in a girl band, and that could hurt my rep
What we have in common just does not go too far
I’m a little concerned you just want me for my scar

[Kristina:] What if we paid you?
[Harry:] I don’t need your money
[Kristina:] What if we poison Hedwig?
[Harry:] I don’t think that’s funny

[Kristina:] The clock is ticking
[Harry:] Well, you’ve not convinced me
[Kristina:] Just give me an answer
[Harry:] You’ll just have to see

[The Parselmouths:]
Oh, Harry, you’re a Parselmouth too
You’re one of us, there’s not much you can do
You can ignore it, you can just walk away
I know you’ve had your fair share of fame
But if you join our band, you can help us expand
And we can tour from Antarctica to Japan
So, think about it, Harry
Don’t you want to jam?

[Harry:]
I don’t think this is a good idea
I’m too young for a music career
I don’t want more of this stress
So my answer to you is … No

[The Parselmouths:]
Oh, Harry, you’re a Parselmouth too
You’re one of us, mate, there’s not much you can do
You may ignore it, you may just walk away
You may have had your fair share of fame
You may hate our band, but we don’t need you, man
We can tour on our own all the way to Sudan
You really blew it, Harry
You really blew it, Harry

[spoken:] Have fun finding a girlfriend now